So, over the month of September this year (so over three months ago...), I managed to get over one million views on my Neocities website, at the time I said that "I might do an AMA in a few days", a few months later, here we are, oh joy.
This isn't the first time that I have subjected myself to doing such a sinful thing as an Ask Me Anything, the first one I did was in September 2017, followed by one in January 2018, and of cause, one right now. I would have done this sooner, but as I have a job right now, it's hard to fit time to work on my site into that, but regardless, here it is!
local zoophiliac #2 Asked:
I sit alone in a dark room, thinking. About life, about death, about felines and about pornography. I reminisce about the olden days, when I would scour about the OwlMan website, looking for it, that image, determined. But after searching for so long, everyone gives in. So then I'd wait, and I'd hope. One day, the 50 likes aligned and I was ready. Once more, my withered heart began to beat but then... tragedy struck: the image was now lost to time. So one can't help but ask themselves... Will it ever see the light of day again, or is it doomed to only know darkness forever?
When I was setting up the AMA page, I was hoping that no-one would ask about that cat image. Just so it's out of the way, here it is, here is the NSFW art I made, anyway, I kind of hate the image I made, it was made by an immature me, but, seeing that people really wanted it, enjoy.
local Sugar Tits Asked:
Eat the cake and sit on dick or sit on cake and eat the dick?
Too easy, eat cake, site on the dick.
1: will the infamous cat pr0n ever be released, even though you might find it embarrasing?
Despite how much I dislike me making the image, I finally posted it. I feel like I have made worse things, but those worse things won't seemly wanted by people.
2: have you ever made a stroll through the forest when you saw a hole in the ground and you approach it and then you fall in despite your best efforts and you come in a system of dark tunnels but you get lost and hungry but then someone approaches you with your favorite candy and you become friends with the person even though you both didn't talk much and you both start to dig up while in the background epic music is playing and finally you did it you can escape and once at the surface nobody is there so you'll have to walk home but before that you give the person a hug and say goodbye or have you ever went to the toilet(one of these two)?
3: when was the first time you played doom?
I think the first time I got my grubby hands on Doom was around 2016, I first played Doom II, then Doom I like a good boy. What's funny is that I did only recently complete Doom II all the way through, and honestly, it was very fun. I had finished all of Doom, but I'm not going to touch episode four at all - just saying.
4: ... what was it like?
Bad :^] Rather than using a port that was made for the game, I decided to use DOSBox as I had no idea what a Doom port was; the long and short is that there was no audio and rather than running, I would walk, only being able to run if I held down the Shift key, oh, also I would cheat by giving myself all weapons and god mode. Somehow I seemed to like this game that had no sound in and I walked in.
5: lol remember the last AMA (in september 2017)? at the time, what would happen with brexit is about as clear as it is today if I am not mistaken. rotten.com is still offline.
The issue with explaining the Brexit deal is that it is changing all of the time, people come and go, news happens. Simply put, to fully inform a non-Brit to the Brexit negotiations, we would have to go back to the 1970s when the UK joined the EU. But let's just say, the main reason why people wanted a Brexit vote was so the UK could have more triad deals and less restrictions, shit happened and now we will be having an election on 2019-12-12 to see who the main leading party should be and we might even be having a second vote and it's like A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A
The whole Brexit negotiations are becoming a bigger and bigger mess everyday, no matter where you stand with Brexit, people agree that is has been going on for too long (since 2016) and needs to go one way or the other.
Also yeah, Rotten is still down.
6: do you still have your windowz 8.1 computer?
Sadly, yes, Windowz 8.1 is still my main OS, I'm not going to say it's great or anything, it's just fine, some people have suggested that I switch to an open source OS like Linux, but honestly, Windows does everything I want it to do; I can program on there, build my site, play games, and people don't look at me funny when I say "I have Windows" (Side note: They will look at me funny if they as what version it is, but less so).
7: ... do you still like the computer?
My laptop that I currently use is an old boy, so it's getting slower, but it's still useful, saying that, I would like to upgrade it to a real computer that isn't a laptop.
8: what's one of your fears?
I think like most adults, my fears come from death. I don't have any fears of any animals, I will happily hold a spider or snake without breaking a sweat.
9: is there a notable thing that changed since the last AMA?
In the second AMA, strata asked me "[Is there s]omething in your life you love to look back on?" and I, as a joke, said "The times I didn't know what a furry or weeaboo was". I think that my origial answer was bad, so I would like to properly answer the question now; So, is there something in my life that I love to look back on? Yes there is, I like to remember all of the good times I had with my fellow friends I have now lost due to whatever reasons. Please do not get me wrong, I still have many friends, but losing them can be a very sad and sudden thing these days.
10: another superlative question: do you have a favorite food?
I'm a simple man, I don't ask for much, so baked beans on toast will happily do me.
11: what did you have for breakfast?
Most of the time I just skip breakfast in favour of going to lunch, but when I do eat breakfast, my poison is Weetabix with chopped banana.
12: have you ever hosted a party?
Nothing IRL, I'm sorry to say.
13: ... do you have any tips? I am not good at parties. thanks
I guess if I went to a party, then I would like to see food and drinks, along with some music that isn't too loud so it is impossible to hear the person you are talking too.
14: what do you think about first-past-the-post vs proportional voting?
There is a great CGPGrey series about this issue that I suspect that you have seen already, but I do agree with the points raised in said videos. Simply put, I think proportional voting is better, but people don't really seem to be in a rush to impairment it, same goes for the people in power.
15: what are you thinking right now?
Why is it so cold and why has it been raining all day?
16: how did you learn to backup, archive and search information so well?
As I have said a few times, archiving the Web and data as a whole is important; out of all of the types of information, digital data is the one most at risk of being lost. Just think about like this way; When you walk into your local library, you can read any book that you like, no matter the age of it, even if it is over 100 years old, but if you get a floppy disk that is just over 15-years-old, there is no easy way to view it unless you have the equipment and knowledge to do so. Digital data is at risk, this is why it is so important to archive your work so that it is not going to be lost forever.
The way that I index my archives/work is usually in Type of archive (art, music, files) > Who made it > Everything. This usally works fine for myself and others. Also, any work that I find, and know is rare, I will usually upload it to my Internet Archive page as I know that the IA is good for that kind of thing (so good that they are in my will).
17: what were you like as a kid?
I feel like I have changed a lot when I was much younger, I was more, eh, weird if that is hard to believe - don't get me wrong, I still am weird, but less so. I think the key word here is "cringy".
18: what type of cloth are your socks made from?
Only the finest (I don't know)!
19: ... do you think your socks are comfortable?
Some of my socks can be, but most of them are ehhh not so much. The thicker the better in my book.
20: what did you have for your latest dinner?
Baked beans on toast...
21: you have made a doom speedrun, right? how much time did you put into doom speedrunning to get this result?
It's kind of hard to say, I think that I must have been trying to do Doom speedruns since my Ant Doom Speedrun from 2017 that I uploaded to The Internet Archive, and the only other speedrun that I have uploaded was on New Year's Day 2019 when I was U E R Y drunk. The thing is that I don't really record myself speedrunning Doom, and I know I should, hhhh.
Update: While in the process of writing this AMA, I made a few speedruns that can be found here.
22: do you think you're good at doom?
I think that I am semi-good at playing the game, I know a lot about it, I know a lot about how to speedrun it, but I think I can do a lot better. Whenever I think I'm good at it, I get my ass wiped by someone in a deathmatch.
23: if you make a payment in your daily life, do you do it cash or do you use debit card?
Debit card is the easiest way for myself I find, mostly because I don't need to carry around change, but I will say this; I do find that when I use my debit card, I use more money than if I was using cash. When I use cash, I am very conservative with it, I think this is mostly due to the fact that it is much easer to know how much money you have in your hands, than it is to see how much you have in your bank.
24: what part of your website is your favorite?
I'm not entirely sure, I guess what I am proud of might be two my art reviews; the first on Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan and one on a painting with no name. So what I think I'm trying to say is that I love that my favourite part of my site might be my After ark blog-type-thing.
Also, while it's not on my site, I will say that I am proud of my work so far on NeoZones, as it really has brought everyone's friendship closer than before.
25: can you explain why britain is relatively obese compared to rest of europe?
It certainly is true that the UK is one of the most obese countries in the world, the reasoning behind this, I think, is due to simply how Americanized we have become; we have Black Friday, KFC, American shows, plus a lot more. We think of ourselves as America's closes friend, so it would make sense to emulate the feel of the States over time.
In the UK, it is also cheaper to buy junk food than it is to buy some fruit, and if you're a lower-income family, it would sadly be more cost effective to buy the former. The people in power have attempted this fix this by bringing in the "sugar tax" where sugary foods and drinks have a higher tax, and this could work, but I also feel like children should learn about exactly why fatty food is bad.
26: do you like fish and chips?
Yes I do, but not too much, I hope! Funny that this question was asked directly after a question about obesity.
27: what dish made by you are you the most proud of?
I know I have made some mean Scotts eggs in the past before, but I'm not really known for my cooking skills. I know I've made some mean cakes in the past, same for bread.
28: do you ever wonder what happened to kenny46140? I sure do. Now that he's gone I notice how much I appreciated him.
I sometimes do wonder what happened to Kenny, same for all of the people that leave Neocities, and honestly, in the case of Kenny, I'm really not hopeful anymore that he's still alive. Very grim answer, I am sorry to say and I do hope that I wrong.
Unless we find a contact of his or one of his social accounts or even his E-Mail, I think it would be impossible to say.
29: what do you love about your site?
I think that the thing I like about my site is that I am not nailed down to doing just one thing; I see a lot of sites on here that are dedicated to a single theme (like a fandom, for example), and when your site is only known for one thing, it can be hard to break the idea that you can do anything that isn't related to whatever theme you chose at the start. Unlike a lot of sites, I think people wouldn't be all that off-put if, say, I made a new part that was just about WebComics I made, then suddenly jump to me talking about artwork by Hitler.
30: have you ever felt love for someone? I mean like, the love where people kiss and other stuff. idk the english word.
I have felt a strong love before in the past , three times, in fact where I felt a really strong love for someone else. The second time I felt a really strong love was quite weird for me, as it was for another man, so that was a confusing (but fun) time.
31: how pissed off are you at me for supplying this lengthy list of questions?
Not at all, I love questions!
32: do you eat potato's often?
I rather like eating potato's, but I don't eat them enough. I seemly only have them when having a roast dinner or baked beans and potato (I really hope that that isn't a British thing, if it is, all that it is is you take a baked potato, cut it open, put some (or a lot) cut cheese on it, and pore the hot baked beans on it).
33: do you have a favorite painting in minecraft?
Of cause, and what's cooler than a skull? A burning skill! (Or this one simply because it is so weird.)
34: did you know that in minecraft alpha and early beta flames would spread much much faster, destroying entire forests in moments, and that logs sometimes would be on fire forever, never burning up?
No I did not know that, but it sounds very good that they fixed it!
35: as you seem more busy lately, how long did answering all these questions take? thank you very much!!! have a great one.
The time that I took answering these questions doesn't matter (unless it takes over three months to take), what matters is if people will see them or not! Speaking of seeing, please also see Jopp's website - it's miles better than mine!
Why did you make OWLMAN COMIC(s)?
Oh God, my comics, haha, so I feel like I should be ashamed of them (after all, they are really unfunny), but a small part of me still finds them funny in a so-bad-it's good way. So yeah, why did I make the comics at the time? Well you know when you're board in school, and you have nothing better to do so you just start to draw rubbish? Well, OWLMAN COMIC(s) was the result of that.. a really unfunny result, but still a result.
I honestly think that if I went back in time and saw my younger self making a comic, I would just encourage them in making them even worse, so that the percent me can enjoy the crappyness a lot more.
How would you rank these 3 types of web design? Best to Worst.
A. Simple Text & Images (little CSS)
B. Skeuomorphism + Shadows/Gradients (some CSS)
C. Material/Modern (heavy CSS)
In my opinion it would go;
B. Skeuomorphism + Shadows/Gradients (some CSS)
A. Simple Text & Images (little CSS)
C. Material/Modern (heavy CSS)
I enjoy having some CSS as it's handy having it so I don't need to write on every page how it should act and look, but then I see some websites that are 90% CSS and really heavy and that can take ages to fully load on some computers. Also I like shadows and gradients as I'm a sucker.
What are your top 3 favourite neocities sites?
Despite being a fairly short question, this was a kind of hard to answer, it's like asking a parent what their favourite child is, you just can't pick one. I have been browsing the host for four plus years now, and even when thinking about this question, I am still unsure. So look, do I have a favourite website on Neocities? Honestly, no, I don't think I do
But do I have a least favourite site? Not least, but any website that is whoring off the death of Sol Pais can fuck off. I'm not joking by the way, if you are a website that has taken blatant inspiration off Pais, fuck off.
Given that you're trooning out, do you believe in the concept that those who can't get girlfriends become the girlfriend instead?
I had no idea that I was "trooning out", kind of impressive, seeing that I'm not trans, but thank you for your question anyway. By the way, this is the first time that myself and prengle have ever communicated with each other in anyway, so hello, I have little idea to who you are, not going to lie.
When will you review Space Ghost's Surf And Turf
All I can say to that is a big, fat h
Bythmouth Asked (via Discord):
i might as well keep the gag going
"How often do you masturbate?"
Once a day, wait, I mean hour.
Thank you to everyone who took the time in asking me any questions, I would also like to thank the over one million people who have visited my website over the years, along with the visitors, I would also like to thank my mother, my father, my co-stars, my producer, and all of the people who believed in me this whole time, along with this, I wanna thank God for the inspiration.
Written by Clive "James" Python, 2019-12-13 (sorry it took so long for this AMA to come out).
2019-12-15: Thank you to Jopp for informing me of my grammar errors, also, congratulations to Randy for getting 100 followers on his website.