________ .__ _____ .__.__ \_____ \__ _ _| | / \ _____ |__| | / | \ \/ \/ / | / \ / \\__ \ | | | / | \ /| |__/ Y \/ __ \| | |__ \_______ /\/\_/ |____/\____|__ (____ /__|____/ \/ \/ \/ {O,O} {O,O} /)_) (__(\ "" " " OwlMail No. VII Date: 18/05/18 E-Mail me: owlman@protonmail.com My Website: https://owlman.neocities.org Text falls under CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 ___________________________________________________ NEWSLETTER: "INTO THE JAWS OF DEFEAT" https://owlman.neocities.org/owlmail/7.htm This Week: >>WELCOME - To a whole new world... >>CWC COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL - Oh joy... >>DUMB SHIT ON VIDLII - Someone will care >>ASCII OF THE NOW - We all love ASCII >>CHECK THIS SHIT OUT! - You better! >>I FUCKING HATE SUMMER - stop plz >>UNTIL NEXT TIME... - Piss off ------------------------------------------------- >WELCOME Well hello there, young Internet search astronaut! Welcome to issue number 7 of the ever failing OwlMail In this issue we'll be looking at the weird world of CWC, a video host website, a metal band, plus "much" more that you are "sure" to "love"! If this is your first time reading OwlMail then it is suggested that you close the tab RIGHT NOW before it's too late to turn back. ------------------------------------------------- >CWC COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL First off if you don't know who Christine Weston Chandler* is, for the love of God, look them up NOW! So over the years, CWC has been less than tolerant towards "the homos" saying (dumb) shit such as: "Yes, I am a homophobe; I fear them all, and I fear the tormenting temptations of falling off the straight path. But then I mentally, sometimes from a DVD (and if you'll pardon the expression), shove some pussy in my face. I tell you what, if I ever stoop down to changing my path, I might as well would get a gender change operation." But as it turns out, in April 2018 Chandler came out as bisexual and as of writing is now in a polyamorous relationship with two other people. First off, holy shit, nice one there CWC, not only getting pussy but also dick, like damn son, you're on a role there, fam! Second, I find it really funny that someone who less than ten years ago was probably one of the most homophobic people around - why am I talking about this? What points do I have? IDK. : CWC comes out as bisexual : https://surl.neocities.org/uKsamn25.html * Yes, I know people like to call them Chris and not Christine, but it would be hypocritical of me (someone who likes to be called 'Clive' despite that not being my legal name) to call them 'Chris'. ------------------------------------------------- >DUMB SHIT ON VIDLII Let's be real here, VidLii is the Club Penguin Rewritten of video hosting sites. For myself, VidLii hasn't really left a good impact on me for three reasons; one, VidLii was first created in 2015 and launched in 2016 as VidBit, however the site shut down out of the blue one day without telling anyone, thanks guys! I only know that as I was a user on the site at the time (you can see their old logo on this shitty cartoon I made https://surl.neocities.org/mwE9qvnE.htm), I only now know that they shut down "due to copyright issues". Second, around mid-April early May 2018, a mod on the site, AliTheZombie13 (nice fucking username), started to b& a large number of users on the site and even (point three (according to JakeOnline)) leaked a users IP, leaked his email, and then banned him from the site just because they didn't like him. I don't know about you, but if this is true (I doubt it's made-up) then this really paints VidLii in a very bad light and as a shitty website ran by people who don't care about their users at all, why the sysop didn't do anything about a mod doxxing users, I have no idea at all, if I was the one running the site, I would have b& AliTheZombie13 from the website forever and made a public apology. But, to be fair, AliTheZombie13 is no longer a mod on the site and was replaced by VidLii's only real known-face, a user called AM. After this, can I recommend the site to anyone? No, I do think I can at all - and that's a real shame too, VidLii has a diverse community of people making videos just because it's fun and not for the money, but after this, I would stay far away from the website. : Copyright quote : http://logos.wikia.com/wiki/VidLii : According to JakeOnline : https://jakeonline.neocities.org/blog.html ------------------------------------------------- >ASCII OF THE NOW ASCII of The Now is a "weekly" thing that I do where I show you the best ASCII art that I've found on the Web. Yay! This week's art is of a knight riding on their horse, now I don't know about you, but that's a pretty radical thing. () ____ []| (______ []|__ / snd \ [] \________/ || ___ || /_ )__ __|\/) || _/_ \____) ,----` \ || />=o) \_____ \ || \]__\ `--,_/U\ B|\__/===\ |UUUU\ ||_ _|_\_ \ |UUUUU\_|[,`_|__|_) |UUUUUU\||__/_ __| |UUUUUU/-(_\.____/-------, /UU/ |H\__\ HHHH| \ |UU/ |H\ |HHHHHHH| |\\ UU |HH\ \HHHHHHH| | \\\ U ( |<_\,_\HHHHHH| / \\\ | \ |HHHHHHHHHHHHH| / \\\\ \ \ ||=============| / \\\\\ \ | \ | https://owlman.neocities.org/ascii.html#snd https://surl.neocities.org/4dhMgXnd.htm ------------------------------------------------- >CHECK THIS SHIT OUT! From the worst part of the Web, I have found some of the very best links for you to click on and check out! Enjoy at your own cost... :YESTERDAY, ONE DAY AGO :https://strata.neocities.org/yesterday/ :PRESERVING AND PROTECTING ARMY HISTORY :https://archive.org/details/papah :THE HAUNTED CASTLE :https://surl.neocities.org/rd5uqZCe.htm :THE DOOKIE BOYS :http://explosm.net/shorts/345/the-dookie-boys :THE MEAL SO NICE :https://loadingartist.com/comic/the-meal-so-nice :CUNT YOLK :https://cuntyolk.neocities.org/ :HISTORICAL MISCONCEPTIONS :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zMSMJZc9EA :DO THE MARIO! :https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/19257 :IF I COULD SHIT OUT MY COCK :http://www2.b3ta.com/images/rob/beatbox.mp3 :SHOOT THE CRAZY FROG :https://surl.neocities.org/p3kAdKNq.htm This issue's band is yet another British heavy metal group, that being Angel Witch who formed in London in 1977. Angel Witch are a pretty good band when it comes down to it, sadly they only have a small back catalogue of four albums made up of original music. One thing I can't help but comment on is how many past members the band have had, according to their Wikipedia page, in total the band have had up to 27 past members, holy shit! Kiss are known for having a lot of past members, but they have nothing on these guys! I was in HMV one day when I saw that there was a Angel Witch record for sale for 18 of my British pound sterlings, did I get it? Hell yeah I got it, I didn't even think twice about getting it, and was it fucking magnificent? Fuck yes it was, cunt! Admittedly the album was made up of old demos by the band, but I fucking love demos, so I really don't care, one of my top picks from the album is "Flight Nineteen". The album by the way can be found by following the bottom link, you can play it for free and even download the whole album at no cost, but all of the money will be donated to the victims of the Grenfell Tower fire, so you might as well chip in some money. : Angel Witch website : http://angelwitchcoven.com/ : Angel Witch on Bandcamp : https://angelwitch.bandcamp.com/ : Angel Witch - Seventies Tapes : https://surl.neocities.org/n72pxnrv.htm ------------------------------------------------- >I FUCKING HATE SUMMER This is why we call the "rant" part of the post, where everything falls apart. In case you have no idea what I look like, picture the most white person you can; well that's me. Summer kills my whole body and will to live, it's so fucking hot it's nearly 20°C, for myself 10°C is fucking hot, I'm used to it being below 5°C most of the time. I don't get why people love being in a hot place when you can be in a cool place. Whenever someone questions me about it they always go "But Georg, why don't you like being hot? It's really nice!" I always say the same thing back to them "Well, when it's cold you can put on more layers, but when it's hot you can only take so much off before being arrested. Also I'm not called Georg" Hot weather will one day kill me. ------------------------------------------------- >UNTIL NEXT TIME Well, if you read all of that then you only have yourself to blame here, after all I did warn you at the start to not read this, but did you listen? Did you ever. That was foolish of you to read this newsletter. ~ Clive "James" Python P.S. Just in case anything goes wrong, by reading this you agree not to sue me under any circumstance. Also, if you want to, please read my article on methods of torture and execution! It's a really grizzly read about ways humans kill and harm other people, if you're into gruesome things, you'll love the article! : https://owlman.neocities.org/library/motae.html {¬_¬} {^w^} -(Thank you for reading!) /)_) (__(\ "" " " ___________________________________________________ |