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September 03, 2002

Mrmrmff Iraq mmrfkr mfrmgh!
Alertnet | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Passers-by discovered the 39-year-old man from Iraq sitting on the ground at a central Zurich square on Monday with his lips stitched together. The man, who was foaming from his mouth, pulled a dagger on police officers who confronted him... police did not know why the man's mouth was sewn closed, but did not believe he was making a political protest. "He was so confused that we had to bring him to a clinic."

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Political espionage
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Incubus
"U.S. Rep. Saxby Chambliss is spying on U.S. Sen. Max Cleland. But that doesn't surprise the senator. He's spying on Chambliss. It's a form of out-in-the-open political espionage called "tracking," and it's become an essential part of most high-profile political campaigns. Armed with a video camera, a campaign staffer shadows the opponent at every public event, documenting the candidate's every word and move, hoping to catch the opposition saying something that can later be used against him."

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Jimmy Hoffa still dead
CNN | Submitted by: Incubus
"There have been allegations that his body is entombed in concrete near section 107 of Giant Stadium in the New Jersey Meadowlands (almost certainly not), or ground up and thrown to the fishes in a Florida swamp (could be), or obliterated in a mob-owned fat-rendering plant that has since burned down (who knows). After more than a quarter century, the Hoffa trail is a cold one... "Maybe he took a little trip," said Anthony "Tony Jack" Giacalone, one of the suspects behind Hoffa's disappearance, when he heard the news."

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Girl gets chipped to soothe paranoid parents
Guardian | Submitted by: Bungknuckle
"The parents of an 11-year-old girl are to take the extraordinary step of having her fitted with a microchip so that her movements can be traced if she is abducted... The miniature chip will apparently send a signal via a mobile phone network to a computer, which will be able to pinpoint her location on an electronic map." Also, If she shows up at a vet, they will know who she belongs to and what breed she is.

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Bush's latest appointed shit-fer-brains
Seattle Times | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"The man [Allan Fitzsimmons] chosen to head the Bush administration's wildfire prevention program doubts the existence of ecosystems and says it would not be a crisis if the nation's threatened and endangered species became extinct... Fitzsimmons says ecosystems exist only in the human imagination and cannot be delineated. Federal policies, therefore, should not be used to try to manage or restore them, he wrote."

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Wife has fun sewing husband up
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: lindane
"Mr. Sato had to return to the hospital for a check-up. They took an X-ray and discovered that he had a sewing needle stuck in his heart," the police source says. "He underwent an operation immediately and they removed the needle. When a doctor questioned him about the needle and the scars of his beating, Mr. Sato told him that his wife was responsible."

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Girl breaks legs in two places, four times a day
Devon Western Daily News | Submitted by: Stamford
"Two-and-a-half years ago she chose to undergo complicated surgery and months of pain to try to reach the minimum height requirement for a flight attendant of 5ft 2in... Four times a day Emma had to turn a screw on the fixator to stretch her legs. This meant the bone would keep being rebroken and not be allowed to mend until it had stretched while it was growing back."

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White trash ignites teen with gasoline
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | Submitted by: Drew
Pittsburgh Police Cmdr. Maurita Bryant said [that] Thomas F. Risko, 46, doused Eric Hilliard, 18, of Morningside with gasoline as he sat in the passenger seat of a black 1995 Ford Probe that was parked at a gas pump... The incident began when Risko called the five young men from Morningside "white trash" after some of them made fun of him for running out of gas, the victim's brother said."

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What a long dull trip it was
Slate | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The Deadheads gave the Grateful Dead a steady revenue stream and a safe harbor. At first, it felt like a rear guard action, fighting for community in a socially fragmented era. But it curdled into the last refuge for musical conservatism and complacency... Safe within the fuzzy bubble of Deadhead-land, the band coasted for years on end, but no matter how negligent or desultory the performance, they always had the Deadheads to fall back on."

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A baffling hobby
New Jersey Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Mohammed Budeir, a U.S. citizen, was charged with criminal trespassing and disorderly conduct after he was found photographing Willistown Township police vehicles last month. Budeir, 20, has said that the photos are a hobby. His attorney, Richard Meanix, said there is a large online community of former officers and civilians who are interested in police vehicles. "He's just a college kid who likes to take pictures of cop cars."

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Playing with your joystick
Lexington Herald-Leader | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Video game designers are switching from violence to sex to snag older consumers. "In at least one game, the female characters' tops will drop as successful video-game companies market the sexuality that already heats up movie screens and music videos."

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Horses kill each other in 60mph head-on collision
Western Daily Press | Submitted by: Robert Hardie
"Police investigating the deaths of two horses found lying side by side say they were not the victims of a sickening mutilation attack but had been "spooked" by something and galloped into each other at a combined speed of up to 60mph... "We found them in a terrible state and at first we thought someone must have harmed them deliberately."

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Porn-viewing freelance cop in drag kills punk
Durango Herald | Submitted by: D. Rango
This has it all: a sheriff's candidate in drag, gay bars, a dead gangbanger, a botched kidnapping, a self-defense shooting, a mysterious "agency," and a porn shop. Explaining the shooting of a gangmember: "I was working undercover. I donít want to disclose the agency because it could compromise ongoing investigations. Iím not a member of any law enforcement agency. I signed a confidentiality agreement. Iím not a cop now, and I wasnít being paid. I was just doing my civic duty. What made me effective was they could put me in drag in these gay bars and nobody thought that I was a cop."

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Female inmate on way to male jail
Cincinnati Enquirer | Submitted by: buffaloBill
"Mr. Fullers, a native of Chicago, was arrested as Carla Brenner but maintains he is a gay male with female tendencies. He has used more than 50 aliases, some male, most female, and has served time in 11 states, including in women's jails, for crimes such as theft and forgery." Yet another reason to stay out of prison.

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Kill Free Willy already
CNN | Submitted by: D. Rango
The 'Free Willy' orca comes home after being set free. Experts say he is lonely. A Norwegian whale expert is getting tired of the drama: "First they spend millions on taming him and turning him into a movie star. Then they spend more millions on turning him back into a wild animal... They should put him down." You gotta be cruel to be kind.

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Cat has record 28 toes
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A cat named Mooch has nine lives and 28 toes, according to a Local 6 News 6 report. "Usually, their first remark is, 'Oh, my God, look at that cat's feet; what's wrong with him?'" owner Becky DuVal said. DuVal said he was listening to the radio last week and heard about the world record for most toes on a cat, currently held by Paddles, a black cat in Ennismore, Ontario, who has 27.

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Le haut cuisine of Cambodia
Reuters | Submitted by: Crampon
"When people fled into the jungle to get away from Pol Pot's troops, they found these spiders and had to eat them because they were so hungry," Sim Yong, a 40 year old mother of five, told Reuters. "Then they discovered they were so delicious," she said, proffering a plate piled high with hundreds of the greasy fried arachnids. "And our spiders are by far the best in Cambodia."

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