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August 08, 2002

Iranians to marry whores for a few hours
Radio Free Europe | Submitted by: Aryan Escort
In recent weeks, several prominent conservative clerics have proposed that "prostitutes be placed in government-run shelters for destitute women to be called 'chastity houses', where male customers could briefly marry them under Islamic law." Allah surely approves.

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Piss no longer for sale
Belleville News-Democrat | Submitted by: Gutter Juice
"As more employers require drug tests, a small but earnest industry has cropped up, marketing about 400 products on the Internet and in drug culture magazines to help produce fake drug-free results.But last weekend, New Jersey joined a handful of states with legislation aimed at cutting down on drug test defrauders." Have we been filling all these Mountain Dew bottles for nothing?

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Drug policy via comic books
Wall Street Journal | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Britain's liberalizing of drug laws has led to the creation of public health brochures in comic book form with a distinctly different approach than America's jingo-istic antidrug propaganda. Their titles include "Everything You Wanted to Know about Cannabis, An Insiderís Guide", "The Time Tripper", and "How to Survive Your Parents Discovering Youíre a Drug User".

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Man dies after fiery snowmobile stunt
Wire Services | Submitted by: Oska
Obviously, this guy didn't pay attention to the "don't try this at home" warning: "The 23-year-old from Whistler, British Columbia, near Vancouver, rode the snowmobile in a "wheelie" down a paved public street and attempt to drive it through a gasoline fire at the end of the run."

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Man puts curse on city sewer system
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Freddy Freeloader
A man who has put a curse on the city sewer system says he will remove it only if city apologizes for earlier incident. Mayor supports the idea!

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Surgeon abandons operation to cash check
Boston Herald | Submitted by: Chris Hansen
"Dr. David C. Arndt of Mount Auburn Hospital was found to pose an 'immediate threat to the public health' after he allegedly abandoned a patient already under anesthesia with an incision on his back to go to a Harvard Square bank."

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Death row web pages anger victim's families
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: Toots
"But inmates are allowed to write letters. "And that's how it's done, through the mail," said Sterling Ivey, a spokesman for the Department of Corrections. "They write letters to groups that host these sites, mostly antideath penalty groups outside the United States. We can't do anything to prohibit them from sending mail to anyone other than victims or their families." Second link is Merck's website.

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Turkmen president increasingly classy
Interfax | Submitted by: gcaw
The dictator of Turkmenistan officially named January after himself yesterday. April is named after Mom. "The days of the week will also be renamed. Monday will be Main Day; Tuesday, Young Day; Wednesday, Favorable Day; Thursday, Blessed Day. Friday will not be renamed. Saturday will be Spirituality Day and Sunday will become Rest Day."

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Big Brother to tighten grip Down Under
Melbourne Herald Sun | Submitted by: Vesney
A view of what's to come: "Every Australian would submit a DNA sample to a national crime database under a radical proposal by a Melbourne scientist. Professor Bob Williamson, a geneticist, wants the Federal Government to set up a national DNA database purely to fight crime, not for health research. Civil libertarians are outraged, arguing the proposal will lead to corrupt police and crooks planting false DNA evidence to implicate the innocent."

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Bigfoot made Stayner do it
ESPN | Submitted by: D. Rango
Triple murder suspect Cary Stayner is putting up a novel defense, claiming that a Bigfoot fixation led him to behead a nature guide and slay two others. "Two decades after he said he first saw the apelike creature near a cabin in Yosemite National Park, Stayner remains obsessed with Bigfoot in a religious or mystical way, said Dr. Jose Arturo Silva, an expert called as part of Stayner's insanity defense. 'He literally thinks about this continually. It's been going on for decades.'"

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Aiport forces woman to drink own breastmilk
New York Post | Submitted by: wingnut
"A Long Island mother is fuming that JFK Airport security guards forced her to drink her own breast milk in front of other passengers before boarding a flight - to prove she wasn't carrying any dangerous fluid to wreak havoc. "It was very uncomfortable and very embarrassing and very disgusting." Current rules require only that any liquid be carried in a resealable container that can be sent through a scanning machine without spilling."

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US pilots flying high on speed
Independent | Submitted by: Meerkat
"The use of stimulants by American combat pilots appears to be an open secret within the defence world, although it is believed this is the first time the Pentagon has confirmed their use was officially condoned. The revelation has fuelled speculation that the use of amphetamines may have been a factor in a series of devastating errors by pilots that led to attacks on Afghan civilians as well as so-called friendly-fire incidents."

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Thar be monsters here
National Geographic | Submitted by: Son of Benway
Australian monsters fallen into a prehistoric pit cavern: "At about two meters long, it was about the same size as a leopard, with massive paws and forearms, huge retractable claws, and enormous "opposable thumb-like" appendages that were probably used for tree climbing. Unlike the large cats that have two enlarged canines, marsupial lions had enlarged incisors that were used to stab prey... Another juicy find is the fossil of a giant wombat the size of a small car."

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Giant ass statue to get day in court
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A Seminole County, Fla., man who created a giant statue of buttocks to protest county government has taken the statue to court for a hearing concerning foreclosure on his property. Neighbors have complained about Alan Davis, 46, and the piles of junk and rats in his yard for more than 10 years, according to Local 6 News." With photo and video of man driving giant ass on interstate.)

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Welcome to the future
Pravda | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Our generation will witness the invention of more efficient, 'smart' robots, a human being will have an opportunity to get directly connected to a computer, putting an end to the career of a keyboard and a mouse. People will have sensor devices, which will be meant for the constant transmission of the information about their physical condition. Such sensors will be needed only on extreme occasions, since the majority of illnesses will leave modified human organisms forever."

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Es gibt gutes Geld im genocide
New York Times | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"According to a new German television documentary, Hitler liked money, both for the luxuries it bought him and the loyalties it ensured, and he amassed a lot of it...From the time he became chancellor until his death in 1945, Hitler received some 700 million reichsmarks in corporate payments, Mr. Helm said ó well over $3 billion. In return, the businessmen made millions more on their investments and their war work."

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The Internet Power Grab
Fast Company | Submitted by: Soylent
"[The entertainment industry] is now asking for passage of the Consumer Broadband and Digital Television Promotion Act, introduced by Senator Fritz Hollings. That would require computer makers to build copyright protection technology into all personal computers [and all digital/analog devices for that matter]. It could also make illegal all software that enables copying. The target of the latter piece of legislative legerdemain is the Free Software movement itself." Multipronged goals: wipe out your ability to timeshift programs or even record them; enter a world of pay per view everything; and eradicate free software such as Linux.

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