jerkcity fuck of the month rotten press scientology


rotten dailyrotten articles rotten search
About Dailyrotten


Feedback
If you like this page, hate it, or would like to suggest changes, staff@rotten.com is listening. This page is experimental and somewhat different from what we usually offer, so please do send your feedback.

Adding Stories
If you are a rotten newshound and you would like to suggest a story, visit our submit page to send us the URL. Stories that are accepted will have your name credited.

Posting Comments
In order to post comments to stories, you will have to create an account. Accounts will generally be validated within 24 hours, and of course will be disabled if there is abuse.

Viewership
On the first full day this page went live, 100,000 people visited this Rotten News page. Of course that was the day after the WTC attacks, so that number is somewhat distorted. Right now this page gets between 50,000 and 75,000 people every day.

Linking
We encourage everyone to link to this page; if you like it, others probably will as well.

Other Rotten
Rotten
Gaping Maw
Celebrity Morgue
Mugshots
Rotten Store
Rate My Poo
Rate My Kitten
Rate My Finger
Penny Postcards
Phallic
Boners

Home
Make Dailyrotten
your start page




August 07, 2002

Worst case of Blue Balls ever
New York Metro | Submitted by: Mr. Ramon
The classic New York love story: Real estate lawyer falls in love with Scores stripper. Real estate lawyer keeps Scores stripper happy by buying her several cars, a house in Westchester, a $6,000-a-month three bedroom, three-bath Greenwich Village apartment, and a $2 million East Village night club. The twist in this fairy tale, however, is the lawyer is a married with children orthodox Jew named Mitchell Rothken, and he stole the money he used for his mistress' gifts from escrow accounts belonging to his clients. The most disturbing part, "Rothken and Barbieri never even had sex. Not Bill-and-Monica-style sex, not heavy petting, nothing." Perhaps he'll be able to relieve all that pent up sexual energy while serving 3 to 9 years upstate.

Read article...

Pink Barbie car swiped during night
ESPN | Submitted by: wingnut
The pink Barbie-sponsored Formula Ford driven by Ashley Taws was stolen while the 18-year-old driver and the rest of her AIM Autosport team slept in a motel.

Read article...

Licence problem nabs a couple driving erotically
Toronto Star | Submitted by: wingnut
A couple having sex as they drove caught the attention of an astonished police officer on County Road 90 south of Barrie yesterday morning."Both occupants of the vehicle were engaged in activities other than that normally expected of persons driving an automobile," said a deadpan Senior Constable Norm Galestzoski of the Nottawasaga Ontario Provincial Police.

Read article... and This article...

More dumb criminals
Times | Submitted by: mayhem
"Jacqueline Boanson was described in court yesterday as 'the happiest victim of theft ever'. Magistrates at Cheltenham were told that after her card was stolen she looked at her bank statement, and found that the balance had gone up by UKP291.40" (from the thief betting at the races).

Read article...

Keeping the kids moth free
Gannett Wisconsin | Submitted by: Scott J. Cannady
"She went inside to make lunch and noticed the three girls were missing. Oberholtzer and the two older girls, ages 13 and 11, found the three in a cedar chest in an upstairs bedroom of the house. The girls, 2 year old Anne, 4 year old Darlene and 6 year old Carla, were not breathing, the sheriff's department said."

Read article...

Darwinism takes man's life
Ft. Worth Star-Telegram | Submitted by: Gay Jonny
"Sergio A. Moreno, 36, discharged several rounds from a .22-caliber handgun into the water, then pointed the gun toward his nose and pulled the trigger again, according to statements from two men fishing with him in a small boat, said Kevin Patton, a spokesman for the Denton County Sheriff's Department."

Read article...

First time at beach, bitten by shark
News and Observer | Submitted by: Knaptibble
"A Wisconsin teen visiting the beach for the first time had 33 stitches and staples after a shark bit him on the leg, authorities said... Ellen Pollan, Robert's mother, said it was her children's first dip in the water at a beach. 'The only animals we ever dealt with where we are from is moose and mosquitoes,' she said."

Read article...

Doctor accused of amputating patient's penis
CNN | Submitted by: wingnut
"Federal agents in Tijuana have arrested a surgeon accused of accidentally amputating the penis of a patient who visited a public clinic to have a circumcision performed, authorities said Tuesday." Moral: Always measure twice, cut once.

Read article...

Lovebird's coded message baffles cops
Independent Online | Submitted by: wingnut
Indian police went into a huddle after an unconscious lovebird with a coded message was found on the premises of a provincial legislature. "Is it a coded message or something really magical? They (police) were enquiring with the magicians if it was a common practice to tie incantations to birds for good luck."

Read article...

Eight year old too stupid to be sex offender
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
"A Butler County Juvenile Court magistrate has dismissed delinquency sexual assault charges against an 8-year-old Liberty Twp. boy after finding him incompetent for a hearing. The child was accused in April of inappropriately touching a 6-year-old girl."

Read article...

High school requires drug testing for parking
WBAY-TV 2 Greenbay | Submitted by: Sarah Hoffman
"Parents are upset over a demand by the Kimberly school district. It's all over a parking permit application that went out this week. It clearly says by issuing a parking permit, the school is allowed to randomly select the student for drug testing."

Read article...

This one time at band camp...
Charleston Daily Mail | Submitted by: Idle Hands
After a burst natural gas pipeline sent flames high into the night sky, 60 Nitro High School band campers were sequestered in the main lodge. Typical high school theatrics ensue: "The boys, over on one side of the lodge, were calm and tried to sleep, Miller said. The girls lined up at the pay phones to call their boyfriends and families to wish them a final goodbye, Miller said. 'Telling everyone "I love you" and "if I don't see you tomorrow,"' he said. Then he added, 'Girl drama.' John Gaines, 15, bass clarinet player, and Bryan Witt, 15, percussion player, both said trying to comfort the girls who were crying distracted them from any fear they may have felt." I'll bet.

Read article...

Woman allergic to Pentiums, but not 486's
theinquirer.net | Submitted by: Any Mouse
A Dutch employee of the Ministry of Economics claims that high frequencies from Pentium processors cause her to break out in hives, and so she is suing her employer and Intel. She said she is not allergic to 486's.

Read article...

Wildlife refuge has dubious credentials
MSNBC | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Portions of the sprawling site were open to the public in 1996 for wildlife viewing, but sightseeing tours were curtailed in October 2000 after crews discovered 10 nerve gas "bomblets" on the grounds. The bomblets, grapefruit sized aluminum spheres containing liquid sarin and a small explosive charge, were manufactured at the arsenal in the 1950s."

Read article...

Coke hates goats
Springfield State Journal-Register | Submitted by: Gutter Juice
"Corporations are often sponsors, but one company is drawing the line when it comes to pygmy goats. A banner given to Eleanor and Bob Pfeiffer by a friend included the words, 'Chatham's famous goats', as well as the logo 'Enjoy Sprite'. While the banner had been displayed in the Pfeiffers' yard for several days, they took it down Tuesday when the Springfield Coca-Cola distribution center learned of the banner."

Read article...

Smoke a joint and be happy
Nature | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Brain chemicals similar to those in cannabis wipe out bad memories, and could point to new drugs for severe anxiety... Lutz's team gave mice mild shocks while playing a loud tone, until the animals froze at the noise alone. When the shocks stopped, mice normally forgot the ordeal and stopped freezing in less than a week. Mice genetically engineered to lack the receptors that bind to cannabinoids were unable to forget within that time."

Read article...

Disable sawed up two Mormon missionaries
This Is Scunthorpe | Submitted by: R Hardie
A judge is considering whether a disabled man should be returned to the United States to face charges of murdering two Mormon missionaries 28 years ago. Robert Kleasen (69) is accused of sawing up the bodies of Mark Fischer (19) and Gary Darley (20) in his trailer in Texas in 1974. Having been found guilty of Fischer's murder and sentenced to death in 1975, the conviction was overturned as a result of a legal technicality two years later."

Read article...

WTC attacks caught with a wire
CNN | Submitted by: Toots
The entire World Trade Center drama was recorded by a mole who was wearing a wire, investigating tax fraud: "Glasses are heard clinking and McArdle has just asked for a glass of water when the muffled boom begins -- the sound of American Airlines Flight 11 hitting the first tower."

Read article...

The dreams of total morons
New York Post | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"John Winter Smith has a dream: to visit every single Starbucks coffee shop on the planet. During his five-year, high-caffeine journey, Winter, as he likes to be called, has made a pilgrimage to 3,067 out of 3,450 cafes in North America. And the Texan's total is growing by the minute." Perhaps he should just get married in Wal*Mart like normal people.

Read article...

Soccer coach decks 12 year old girl
The Mississauga News | Submitted by: Covix
Police say the coach raced onto the field during a stoppage in the game and assaulted a girl, hitting her in the ribs with his elbow. The rules state that a coach is immediately suspended if he or she assaults an official. There are no rules regarding a coach assaulting a player, so this guy is still coaching.

Read article...

Was UFO responsible for Kiev airshow crash?
News Corporation | Submitted by: portalnet
"Slow-motion videotape of the July 27 accident show a dark object rising in an arc from a wood near the Lviv airfield close the flight path of the Su-27, which went on to crash into the crowd."

Read article...

India's face-snatching epidemic
BBC | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The authorities in the north Indian state of Uttar Pradesh have appealed for calm as public concern mounts over alleged attacks by what local people describe as "face snatchers"... [some] claim to have seen an illuminated flying object which they think has been carrying out these attacks... Orders have been issued to take strict action against anybody found to be spreading panic by wearing animal masks."

Read article...

Anglican archbishop goes Pagan
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Boudicca
"Dr Rowan Williams, dismissing suggestions that he was dabbling in paganism, joined blue-hooded druids ranked behind a golden harp to be admitted into the Welsh Gorsedd of Bards." What exactly is he dabbling in, then?

Read article...

Anybody seen Mom?
Philadelphia Inquirer | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Homicide Lt. Philip Riehl said the crew, which razed the house Monday, had been using a backhoe to remove debris from the site when worker Vidal Aviles found skeletal remains wrapped in a comforter, bound by wire... Authorities could not immediately tell if the corpse was a male or female. But Reynolds said he believes the remains are those of his missing mother."

Read article...

Fish gets even with fisherman
WDIV-TV 4 Detroit | Submitted by: Richard Johns
"The impact caused Clemens to lose control of the boat and run it into the river bank. He was ejected, suffering a broken sternum, two broken ribs, a collapsed lung and abrasions. He also needed 16 stitches on his right knee."

Read article...

Lightning strikes man for fourth time
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"They've all been shock. I either draw it or I've got the worst luck anybody can possibly have. I haven't decided which," Mark Stinson said. Scientists say there's about a 1-in-600,000 chance of getting hit by lightning."

Read article...

Congressman discharges gun at event
Wire Services | Submitted by: Denali
US Rep. Bob Barr, an NRA Board Member, mis-handles and fires a pistol at a reception in his "honor" (i.e., fundraiser): "Through a spokesman, Barr said: 'This accident only underscores the importance of proven gun safety measures, especially when owning and handling antique firearms.'"

Read article...

Italian stunt typist fails to impress
Guardian | Submitted by: Pectate
"Mr Santelia has also sent backwards copies of Dante's Divine Comedy to Bill Clinton and President Bush, and now intends to type the Guinness Book of Records from back to front and send a copy of it to the organisation every year until his feat is admitted."

Read article...

UN Pimping underaged girls
Times | Submitted by: Meerkat
Another story linking UN workers to underage prostitution and sex slavery. This one is about a whistle-blower who was subsequently sacked. Welcome to the New World Order. Also note Dyncorp's involvement, a CIA company.

Read article...

Publishing sex details now part of adoption process
South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: Covix
"In the newspaper notice, the mother must list her name, describe herself, name or describe the possible father(s) and list the date and the city or county of conception. The legislator who spearheaded the overhaul of the state’s adoption laws said they were designed to make adoptions better, easier and quicker." Yeah, that'll work.

Read article...

Tourists get Texas urine shower
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"Test results indicate that a foul-smelling liquid that tourists in San Antonio were showered with on Tuesday night was consistent with stale urine. Authorities believe someone obtained about two gallons worth of urine from a port-a-potty and then poured it on unsuspecting visitors who were riding a barge on the River Walk."

Read article...


 Copyright 2001 Soylent Communicationsrotten | daily rotten | gaping maw | about