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May 15, 2002

Baseball player's body parts up for auction
ESPN | Submitted by: Clare A. McGuire @ Atlanta
"The fragments from the Seattle Mariners pitcher's elbow went up on eBay on Tuesday, after Seattle sports radio talk show host Dave Mahler convinced Nelson to put them up for auction. In a span of one hour here were 68 bids on the item, quickly pushing the price to $12,000." Note that human body parts, even bone chips, are against eBay policy.

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Government ads fails to keep kids off drugs
MSNBC | Submitted by: Carmel
"The new U.S. drug czar, John P. Walters, says the government’s antidrug advertising of recent years has failed. Worse, he fears it even may have inspired some youngsters to experiment with marijuana." Why have we wasted $180M on this useless and misdirected propaganda?

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Children Love Poo
Nature | Submitted by: rottenfan
"The scent of the rear is one of many sensations confronting the visitor to Grossology, an exhibition in London's Science Museum that opened last weekend. Intrepid visitors can pump mechanical stomachs to make them vomit or belch, or climb a skin wall on scabs, spots and warts."

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7-UP VS. ass rape
Mother Jones | Submitted by: Dominus Bishop
"Prisoner rape is commonly the subject of jokes, but by pandering to this insensitivity, your company is only perpetuating callousness regarding this horrific, widespread abuse," the group stated in a letter to executives at Dr. Pepper/7-Up, Inc. "We sincerely hope that you will remove the 'Captive Audience' commercial from cable and network television." "We hoped that we could present them with the facts, and that they would do the responsible thing," Stemple says. But 7-Up officials, citing "overwhelmingly positive feedback" from test viewers, have declined to pull the ad." Face it, viewers love prison rape.

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Cyclist Crashes Attempting Record Ride Down Volcano
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
A French cyclist is lucky to be alive after spinning out of control during an attempt to break his own speed record by riding down a volcano in Nicaragua. "It looked as if there was a rock or something in the path that made the bicycle break in two," said one of Barone's assistants. You gotta see the video to believe it.

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Teddy bear threat neutralized
Naples Daily News | Submitted by: Florida's Best
"The bomb squad found the black-and-white Teddy bear sitting against a chain link fence on a Liberty City sidewalk. They approached it slowly, carefully. Then they destroyed the animal with a blast that sent stuffing flying."

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Musharraf brought region to brink of nuclear war
Times of India | Submitted by: John
Why are we backing this madman? "Amid renewed tension in the subcontinent, aggravated by yet another terrorist massacre in Jammu and Kashmir, a gripping account of the 1999 Kargil episode by a key Clinton aide shows the Pakistan military to be a trigger-happy rogue outfit that deployed nuclear weapons for possible use against India."

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Loving couple suicides by trainsplat
New York Daily News | Submitted by: anonymous
"They kissed one last time. Then the young couple took out their wallets and carefully placed them next to each other on the train platform... The two lovers clutched one another as they stood for a moment under a concrete walkway that spans the tracks. At exactly 4:15 p.m., they plunged in front of a New York bound train and killed themselves."

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Ancient Arthashastra gives nutballs hope
BBC | Submitted by: Xiao
"Indian scientists are turning to an ancient Hindu text in their search for the secrets of effective stealth warfare. They believe the book, the Arthashastra, written more than 2,300 years ago, will give Indian troops the edge on their enemies."

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Investigation of U.S. bombing censored
Toronto Star | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
Let's face it: American-Canadian relations just haven't been that cozy since the South Park movie. Well now they just got worse. The results of an investigation into an American F-16 fighter dropping a 551 pound bomb on Canadian troops in Kandahar last month have been held back from the Canadian public, apparently due to pressure from American intelligence. "We will probably be able to declassify it in a way that will explain to the families and the Canadian public what happened." Hell, I can tell you what happened: AMERICA FUCKED UP.

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Corporations inventing people to support policies
Guardian | Submitted by: george_lazenby
"While, in the past, companies have created fake citizens' groups to campaign in favour of trashing forests or polluting rivers, now they create fake citizens. Messages purporting to come from disinterested punters are planted on listservers at critical moments, disseminating misleading information in the hope of recruiting real people to the cause."

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Seattle paper praises boy who narc'd his dad
Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: sarefo
The "War on Drugs" meets "The Chinese Culture Revolution": A teen calls 911 when he discovers his father grows a handful of hemp plants in the garage. The "Seattle Post-Intelligencer" is now searching for somebody who can give this *swell* guy a scholarship, "something his father is unlikely right now to provide him." As the article puts it, "The Covington teen who alerted police to his father's back-room marijuana-growing operation deserves more than a pat on the back. He deserves a future." As King County Sgt. Greg Dymerski explained, "I think he was pretty upset about it, turning in Dad. But the bottom line is, he did the right thing."

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Nipple size sets off Kournikova scandal
Wire Services | Submitted by: Zircon
"The salesman replied there were several reasons including that the sunbather looked Russian, appeared to be seeking privacy and because of the size of her nipples. He said that while he had never seen Kournikova at a tournament, he had seen a photo of her on the Internet in which her tennis dress was soaked with sweat, revealing the shape of her nipples. 'They were pretty evident ... the diameter matched what we had on film,' he said."

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