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April 30, 2002

Latest youth menace: jello shots
USA Today | Submitted by: Number-6
"A national anti-drug coalition is alerting parents about the rising popularity of Zippers, which are packaged cups of fruity-flavored gelatin and alcohol... "Zippers may be dangerous because they come packaged in containers that look like any other snack pack or after-school snack a child may put in their lunch box," the Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America said in an alert last week. The coalition added that "Zippers are being marketed in ways that appeal to an underage audience."

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Man claims human genome is his
Guardian | Submitted by: Soylent
"To the surprise of scientists, Venter has admitted that much of the DNA used by his company, Celera Genomics, as part of this decoding effort came from his cells. The news has annoyed his colleagues, who claim that Venter subverted the careful, anonymous selection process they had established for their DNA donors."

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Man-eating shark drags diver from friend's arms
online.ie | Submitted by: KC
"A shark dragged a man from his friend's arms and killed him today off Australia's southern coast, officials said. The victim, a 23-year-old professional diver, was diving for scallops from an anchored boat when he was attacked by the shark, South Australia Ambulance spokesman Lee Francis said. The friend tried to pull the victim onto the boat but the shark pulled the man back into the water, Francis said."

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Arab psychiatry evaluates the US President
MEMRI | Submitted by: hj blank
Arab analysis of the psychiatric condition of George W. Bush: "Your stupidity is reflected in your facial features. Your face reminds me of the face of those who frequent a clinic for the mentally retarded. Your gaze is mindless and unfocused. Your eyes are misleading. Your facial expressions are incompatible with the matter [being discussed], and your tone of voice is completely disconnected from the content of your words: a salient characteristic of the mentally retarded."

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Vegan hippies starve daughter
Fox News | Submitted by: Clare A. McGuire @ Atlanta
"A vegan couple in New York City were busted for starving their baby daughter, by denying her breast milk and formula, feeding her only nuts, fruits and vegetables, and allegedly failing to get her medical help for severe malnutrition." The baby's name is Ice, I think that says it all right there.

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Court rules size really doesn't matter
SAPA | Submitted by: hornet
"A man seeking health insurance funding for an operation to enlarge his penis was told by a German court on Wednesday that his "ailment" was no real sickness needing medical treatment."

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Girls with thong panties forced to leave school dance
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
"A group of parents are calling for the resignation of a high school vice principal, claiming she enforced underwear checks at a school dance. According to parent Alane Garvik, girls who arrived at the dance wearing short skirts were immediately asked: "What kind of underwear do you have on?" Principal Paul Gentle said that he is "looking into the situation."

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Vagina returned to homeland
CNN | Submitted by: KevinG
"Baartman was born in 1789 under Dutch rule in the Cape. Around 1810, a British navy doctor took her to London, where she was shown off to visitors who paid to gawk at the African woman's unusually large buttocks and sexual organs. During her lifetime, Baartman also came under the scrutiny of racial theorists seeking to support theories of an inherent superiority of European races." Baartman died a whore at age 27.

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The Queen Mum is dead: Rastafari 4EVA
Stuff NZ | Submitted by: Ogle
"I like the glow worms" is hardly what you'd normally read in a condolence book for the Queen Mum. The Museum of New Zealand has suffered the fatal error of putting a condolence book and pen in a public place. "In your younger days you were a hotty. Nothing's changed. Andrew." The Rotten Staff concurs, she was a little hottie.

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Jesse "The Video Game" Ventura
Reuters | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"'The options include everything from a giant Jesse Ventura using his sword of justice to hack legislators off at the knees to a series of ethical case studies for people to answer and compare their answers to the governor's,' [campaign treasurer Phil] Madsen said." Uh, wouldn't hacking off legislators at the knees constitute an ethical case study?

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State to buy "Black Square" for $1M
St. Petersburg Times | Submitted by: M. Glusker
"The government said Friday that it will buy a famous painting of a plain black square by avant-garde artist Kasimir Malevich for $1 million, ending weeks of speculation about the painting's fate. Creditors for bankrupt Inkombank had intended to sell the "Black Square" painting at auction, but at the last minute the Culture Ministry declared it a state cultural monument and ordered it removed from the auction list."

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The Autonomous Beer-Opening Robot
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Halifax
"It took 150 parts, 18 metres of wiring and a semester of tinkering (not to mention a Frenchman with too much free time)...Clerc calculated it takes 12 pounds per inch of torque to open a beer bottle. He then set out to create a robot that could get the job done without knocking over the bottle."

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Woman leaps to death, full color photos
Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star | Submitted by: Gym w/a/J
The Fredricksburg "Free Lance Star" decided to publish a story of a woman who jumped from a bridge to her death, including several color photos. As they stated in the article their decision to publish the photos of the woman jumping were based upon a wish to "stir a renewed dialogue in our community about suicide, the toll it exacts of families and how we can help those in pain." And it has nothing to do with their desire to sell newspapers, or get their paper on rotten.com...

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