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March 29, 2002

Denver Police surveilling its own citizens
Reuters | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
The ACLU has filed a lawsuit against the Denver police department on behalf of 3,200 residents, who are believed to have been the subjects of secret DPD dossiers. The citizens were selected by virtue of their having participated in peaceful civil rights demonstrations. The ACLU contends that the secret files have shared this information with federal agencies, and that they labeled some of Denver's law-abiding townspeople "criminal extremists."

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Big safe heist but police are MIA
Washington Post | Submitted by: f00f
"When we pointed out some of the evidence," Duggan said, a patrol officer responding to the scene told him he had been "watching too much TV." Duggan gathered telephone numbers, dates of birth, addresses and Social Security numbers of band members, bartenders, security guards and patrons who were at the bar that night. "I told them all that the police will be calling them, to get ready to talk to a detective, to remember details of the night and to please be helpful," Duggan said. "Boy, did I feel like an idiot a week later, when none of these people were called. Police haven't called a single person."

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A separate latrine for Lesbians
San Diego Channel | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Scott filed a complaint last month alleging discrimination and intolerance by 'not addressing a very clear right of privacy violation' that required the girl to share facilities with homosexual students and staff... Superintendent Granger Ward said that it would be illegal to implement Scott's demand for separate restrooms and locker rooms for students and staff who are or are perceived to be gay or lesbian." Umm, what girl wouldn't want to share facilities with hot lesbian chix0rs?

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Bin Laden sending Bin-Email again
Guardian | Submitted by: Bad Paper
"What makes me think it is from Bin Laden is that they have sent us other material before, and it is written in the same way. The language is really typical of him," he said... The email [traced to Karachi], which was written in Arabic, was sent to the paper's general email address. "It was not a message to our newspaper but to the whole Islamic community," he said.

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Lil' Amber gets undies in a bunch
MSNBC | Submitted by: McWhat
"Why are you stuck on the few photos we have of her in her custom-made clothing? Have you seen the great updates where she shows you how to make an excellent salmon dish using only tinfoil to bake it with? What about the very fun and informative software reviews that took her months to put together? Any [of] her Yoga video/pics!??" Mmmm, salmon.

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Media runs out of news to report
Associated Press | Submitted by: george_lazenby
Dateline Afghanistan. A fascinating story from the front lines about a guy... who eats rocks. "When I started stone-eating, people couldn't believe it. They told me that this was magic. This is the one quality I have. Wherever I go, people watch me and gather around... I had a very healthy and strong body when I started eating stones. Then I became weak and thin."

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Buttfucking and giving head still illegal in Louisiana
Times-Picayune | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
The Supreme Court of Louisiana refused to strike down Louisiana's 197 year old ban on oral and anal sex Thursday. Recent attempts to decriminalize these forms of sexual congress through new legislation were scuttled last year by state representative Tony Perkins. His rationale? "The heart of this legislation has nothing to do with what married couples choose to do. This has everything to do with legitimizing homosexuality." And we can't have that. God knows there aren't any queers in Louisiana.

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Surgeon General nominee once killed a guy
Tuscon Citizen | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
President Bush's nominee for Surgeon General could definitely kick C. Everett Koop's ass. Dr. Richard Carmona, a Green Beret who served in Vietnam and currently member of an Arizona SWAT team, was the recipient of a "Top Cop" award from the National Association of Police Organizations a couple of years ago. Why? Because in September 1999 he shot and killed some crazy guy after he shot at Carmona, grazing his head. Not to mention the other guy he shot to death ten years prior. You should expect this Surgeon General to get a lot less shit from people.

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Guarding the "A" Root Server
Washington Post | Submitted by: Soylent
"The last thing I'd want someone to think is that they could put a bomb around their waist and hug the A root and think they're going to significantly impact the Internet," Rippe said. "While such an attack could kill many employees, the Internet's addressing system is designed to withstand the destruction of much of the physical infrastructure that houses it."

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Donut trail leads to thieves
Reuters | Submitted by: Milky Bong Toke 420
"Two people left a 15-mile-long- trail of doughnuts after they took a Krispy Kreme truck from a parking lot and fled, police said Thursday... Houk told police they had been smoking crack cocaine for several hours before the incident, which occurred Wednesday, said Callahan."

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