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March 15, 2002

Blind boy gets some
New York Post | Submitted by: Ronbo
Here is the mugshot that answers the question we've all been asking, which is how ugly do you have to be when the only way you can get laid is with an 11 year old blind boy? Her husband catches them in bed together and does...well, nothing apparently. Eventually the kid tells one of his teachers, and 44 year old Kathy Tuifel is arrested on child rape charges.

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Is the FBI trying to cover up shooting?
Baltimore Sun | Submitted by: Antifascist
The FBI is attacking the investigator who is looking into the early March shooting in Glen Burnie, Maryland. FBI agents shot an unarmed man who they thought was a bank robber, and now insist that it was justified, threatening the investigator. "Dudley F.B. Butch Hodgson, a former FBI agent who has been retained by the shooting victim's lawyers, said he was told by one of the agents: There's no middle ground in this thing. You're either with us or against us."

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Army commissioning exoskeletons
ZDnet | Submitted by: mandarin
One more step to Starship Troopers: "The Massachusetts Institute of Technology plans to create military uniforms that can block out biological weapons and even heal their wearers as part of a five-year contract to develop nanotechnology applications for soldiers, the U.S. Army announced Wednesday."

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Raw sewage leak stinks up high school play
Associated Press | Submitted by: Lady C
"A performance of The Wizard of Oz at Oconomowoc High School turned ugly when 300 gallons of raw sewage leaked into a room next to the school auditorium. 'The kids did an incredible job, especially since it was extremely stinky', said Betsy Freeman, who helped create the costumes for Thursday's play."

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Boy aspires to be serial killer
Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: jerry S
"The [dog's] severed head was found in a toilet bowl in the second-floor men's room at Romulus High School on Oct. 19. Five days later, an eyeball from the dog was left in a drinking fountain at the school... The boy had left drawings of people with their heads cut off with a knife, heads blown off with a firearm and an eyeball with a knife inside in a classroom, but there was not enough evidence to charge him with a crime until last week, when the boy admitted killing the dog with a knife."

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101 Dumbest Moments in Business
Business 2.0 | Submitted by: Soylent
"In a perfect world, a list like this would not exist. In a perfect world, businesses would be run with the utmost integrity and competence. But ours is, alas, an imperfect world, and if we must live in one where Enron, Geraldo Rivera, and Cottonelle Fresh Rollwipes exist, the least we can do is catalog the absurdities."

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New airport scanner can see your peepee
Reuters photo | Submitted by: Soylent
Full body strip searches are no longer necessary as airport employees may now ogle your naughty bits while you remain in the comfort of your clothing. Airport security screening or new dating service? You decide.

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