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March 13, 2002

Police shoot, kill masturbating man
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
"San Diego police are investigating an officer-involved shooting of a naked man who was masturbating alongside a public bike path. The shooting occurred where the path passes under Interstate 8, near the city's Ocean Beach/Mission Beach area, police reported. Though hidden from view, the path under the bridge is a popular one for inline skaters, joggers and bike riders." And masturbators.

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Bean heating accident costs man his remaining leg
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: LifeinTheSun
"A Takatsuki man has lost his leg after failing to abide by the exact instructions issued by a TV program telling viewers how heating beans could keep them warm at night, the Mainichi has learned... His problem arose because he used socks made of a synthetic fiber to heat up beans to store in his futon instead of the cotton towel specified on the NTV program "Itoke no Shokutaku," a program devoted to providing lifestyle hints."

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Child O.D.'s on Night Train
San Gabriel Valley Tribune | Submitted by: Linda Goodwin
If you drink like the Rotten Staff, you know there's nothing better than fortified wine when you've had to stop eating solid food. But a valuable lesson has been learned by Jose Emmanuel Lopez when his lady's toddler found the swill after he "fell asleep" (passed out).

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Dear Abby is a snitch
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel | Submitted by: Pete
"The 28-year-old man, who has no criminal record in Wisconsin, wrote to Dear Abby, telling her that he had been fantasizing about having sex with preteen children, particularly his girlfriend's 10- and 3-year-old daughters.... The problem for Phillips: Much of the Dear Abby column's credibility is based on anonymity for advice-seekers and a long track record of helping people, not turning them in for prosecution."

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Teaching young girls the Indian Ways
Rocky Mountain News | Submitted by: Covix
Police say a Loveland man who passed himself off as an Oglala Sioux repeatedly sexually assaulted an 8-year-old girl under the guise of teaching her American Indian culture... Rea, who has gone by the name Standing Bear, claims that he is a member of the Oglala Sioux tribe of South Dakota. But Oglala Indian officials and Rea's father deny that claim. His father says he is part Filipino."

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Saudis claim Jews make pastries with human blood
World Net Daily | Submitted by: tjd
"A Saudi government newspaper published a column asserting that Jews use the blood of teenagers to make a special pastry associated with the March holiday of Purim... Writing in the daily Al-Riyadh, Al-Jalahma said, 'For this holiday, the Jewish people must obtain human blood so that their clerics can prepare the holiday pastries. In other words, the practice cannot be carried out as required if human blood is not spilled!'

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Jesus Christ to be exhumed
Australian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Katay
"An American researcher who believes she has found the final resting place of Jesus Christ, is campaigning to exhume a body at a Muslim shrine in Indian administered Kashmir for scientific tests... While Muslims say Rozabal houses the tomb of Yuza Asaf, a Muslim saint, many researchers believe it contains the body of Jesus Christ. To put an end to speculation, Ms Olsson has suggested exhuming the remains at Rozabal for DNA testing and carbon dating." An older story, but does she hope to compare it to God's DNA?

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