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January 08, 2002

Congressman stripped to underwear
Washington Post | Submitted by: Soylent
Show us your dingle: "I complied, but tried to do it with some small bit of dignity," Dingell said, adding that afterward he couldn't help seething to his wife, "Woman, do you realize what they made me do?" [That is exactly how any congressman should refer to his wife, by the way.] He added: "It seems to me that there was some incompetence involved here."

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Man disembowls self to avoid police
pdxguide | Submitted by: Groovy Ghoulie
"A Prune Hill chiropractor disemboweled himself and was discovered by police, who had come to his house to question him about alleged harassment of his former girlfriend... "John's a great guy," McMullen said. "This is really a sad and unfortunate situation."

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Larry King presents American Taliban!
Village Voice | Submitted by: Macki
The Larry King show broadcast an interview "confession" with American Taliban member John Walker, who incidentally refused to give any such interview. Until he was doped up: Why let a little morphine get in the way of a good news story? "In other words, hey, he was hostile, but once we gave him the morphine, he just talked and talked!"

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Tokyo Disneyland a giant whorehouse
Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: Pants
"A reporter for the magazine arranges to meet one of the girls at Disneyland, recognizing her instantly by the Mickey Mouse ears she had promised to wear. He pays the girl 50,000 yen for a four-hour session, three hours of which are spent indulging in the Magic Kingdom's pleasures."

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Did Count Ugolino cannibalize his dead sons?
China Daily | Submitted by: Soylent
Is Ugolino really in the ninth circle of hell? Dante's epic encounters the Count eternally feasting on the brains of his dead sons. But now Ugolino's bones have been discovered, and an Italian paleontologist wants to make Dante a libelor and clear the Count's name by proving the cause of death to be a blow to the head, and not cannibalo-starvation.

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Burning amplifier brings back WTC memories
Austin American Statesman | Submitted by: Soylent
"The XL cover was reminiscent of a burning building at the World Trade Center. It illustrated Michael Corcoran's remembrance of the year in Austin music. He wrote: "Clubs died and musicians died, just as they do every year. But a somber air seemed to permeate the Austin music scene like white smoke in 2001, which started in a slump and ended in rubble."

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Dave Thomas (Wendy's) dead from fat
Associated Press | Submitted by: Phat Max
If you believe in your own product enough that you eat it every day, even if that product happens to be delicious artery clogging food product, a quadruple bypass or the necessity of dialysis shouldn't really be a surprise. Or your death from overwhelming fatness. Nice guy though!

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Islamic rules concerning potty
Apocatastasis | Submitted by: Nyar
"There are certain ways of performing Istibra, and the best of them is that after the passing of urine, if the anus also becomes najis it is made Pak first. Thereafter, the part between the anus and the root of penis should be pressed thrice, with the middle finger of the left hand. Then the thumb is placed on the penis, and the forefinger below it pressing three times up to the point of circumcision, then the front part of the penis should be jerked three times."

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