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April 18, 2002

I just shit on him to be sure he was ok...
North Jersey Media | Submitted by: Epic Soundtracks
"A Tenafly man pleaded guilty Monday to savagely beating another man and then urinating and defecating on his unconscious victim... At one point he told the judge: "I came back outside to check on him." [Prosecutor] Thonus, in turn, replied: "When you came back outside, you brought toilet paper with you and you, in fact, defecated on him." Ritter nodded, wiping his eyes."

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Jobless Ukrainian shoves head into saw
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Lou
"An immigrant who had been looking for work in the Czech Republic reacted very badly to news that a woodworking company didn't need his services: he committed suicide by putting his head into the spinning blade of their circular saw... He purposely rammed his head several times into the whirling saw blade... Workers who witnesses the grisly death were shocked."

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Man secretly videotapes own family
Beaver County Times | Submitted by: Tonester
"For nearly eight years, a Brighton Township man moved a video camera from room to room in his house, tucking it away in air ducts or throwing clothing over it so that it couldn't be seen, but the camera could certainly capture the goings-on in the room, police said... Barto secretly videotaped his wife or juveniles in various acts, including undressing, using the toilet, performing sexual acts, and even climbing in and out of cars."

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Thousands of Inca mummies exhumed
National Geographic | Submitted by: swann
"Thousands of Inca mummies, many with hair, skin, and eyes intact, have been rescued from beneath the streets of a sprawling settlement on the outskirts of Lima, Peru... Archaeologists recovering the bodies found many of them in "mummy bundles," large cocoons that held up to seven individuals and weighed as much as 400 pounds."

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Feds want to issue national Microsoft ID's
Seattle Times | Submitted by: Soylent
I hope this scares everyone as much as it scares all of us: "Getting the United States to use Passport to authenticate its 285 million citizens online would be a coup for the Redmond software company. It would also be a large step toward fulfilling Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates' stated goal of getting everyone on the Internet to use Passport as their sign-on tool."

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Force Fed Faster
Penn Live | Submitted by: Pete
Michael Tyrone Walker, a vegetarian, is a member of the Nation of Islam and routinely observed fasting periods up to 15 days for religious holidays, according to court papers. He claims in his lawsuit that he had agreed to end his fast and eat before the medical director at the prison and several guards strapped him to a bed and force-fed him liquefied liver and mashed potatoes through a tube in his nose.

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Winner at Pistolbury Bake-Off
South Bend Tribune | Submitted by: snoozer
"Donna Miller was cleaning up the house Tuesday morning when she discovered the gun in the kitchen area. Wanting to get it out of the way, she had apparently placed it into the broiler drawer of the gas oven in the kitchen.... At about 7:30 p.m. EDT Tuesday Donna Miller is believed to have turned on the oven to heat some pizza."

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Will Dailyrotten be made illegal?
Wired | Submitted by: Soylent
A Danish newspaper coalition wants to remove the ability of sites to "deep link" to other sites without their explicit permission. Truth is, sites who feel that way should not even be on the Internet. "We strongly disagree with the Danish Newspaper Association. They don't live in this century and they think that they can keep things as they have always been. If they could, they would turn time back and remove the Internet."

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It only hurts when I smile
Wire Services | Submitted by: Ryano
Falun Gong member Hao Huijun talks to reporters in Central China, fourteen months after his unsuccessful self immolation attempt.

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January/December romance goes horribly wrong
Connecticut Post | Submitted by: grytpype
A 75-year-old man has impregnated a 10-year-old girl he met at a senior center. "Jimmy Kave of Bridgeport admitted having sex with the girl several times, but claims she had enticed him, police said."

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Segway to get a Stirling engine?
New York Times | Submitted by: Soylent
Those little Segway scooters may be getting a lot more interesting: "The importance of It, however, may have as much to do with the scooter's future engine as with the scooter itself. Last month, the United States Patent Office published application No. 20020029567 with Mr. Kamen named as one of the inventors for the manufacturing of a Stirling engine, which can be powered by heat from any fuel and is virtually nonpolluting."

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