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April 08, 2002

Dog eats, then shits owner's money
Centre Daily | Submitted by: JuTravler
"Never was stolen money in more need of laundering. It all started when Sue Gadaleta cashed a check and got two $100 bills, which she put in her coat pocket along with some other money. [After discovering the $100's missing,] Gadaleta searched the house, but found nothing -- until she went to clean up a mess her usually well-behaved dog had left in the basement."

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Chief Wiggum in Diapers!
News and Observer | Submitted by: Bwana
Mayberry ain't what it used to be. In a small town in North Carolina a Division of Motor Vehicles ticket-fixing incident has erupted into a full blown scandal complete with whistle-blowers, charges of a coverup and a colorful cast of characters that includes a fired small-town police chief who enjoyed cavorting with his pals in diapers. Huggies or Luvs? Inquiring minds want to know.

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Rio has a cow over Simpsons slur
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Lou
"Can a city sue a cartoon character? Rio de Janeiro is apparently planning to do just that when it brings charges against the Simpsons for overstepping yet another boundary of good taste. The episode shows a boa constrictor that eats Bart on Rio's famous landmark mountain. It also has daddy Homer kidnapped by a taxi driver and Marge sexually harassed in a police station." Worst episode ever.

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ID Chip Circumvents FDA Approval
News Factor | Submitted by: george_lazenby
Big Brother wants to give you a shot. A Florida company Thursday said that it will begin marketing and selling a microchip that can be implanted under the skin, after receiving the go-ahead from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. FDA officials said that as long as the biochip is used for identification purposes only, it will not have to meet strict FDA guidelines. "The FDA said that Applied Digital Solutions is now free to sell, market and insert the chips in individuals," company spokesperson Matthew Cossolotto told NewsFactor. Well I feel much better.

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The dangers of working with Michael J. Fox
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Fox was 16 when he starred in the comedy Leo & Me, which launched his career. Don Williams, the director, a writer and a cameraman on Leo & Me also suffer from the disease. 'The percentage of people involved is quite amazing to me,' said Donald Calne, director of the Neurodegenerative Disorders Centre at the University of British Columbia Hospital. He said two of his patients worked with Fox."

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Pole Vaulters Dying
myCFnow | Submitted by: Rio
"A Florida teen is the youngest of three pole vaulters to die nationally this year. He improperly planted his pole and his head struck the pavement during practice in February. The following week, Penn State vaulter Kevin Dare died after a headfirst fall during a Big Ten indoor meet. A 17 year old senior of Wichita, Kan., Samoa Fili II, died last week, two days after an attempt at a 12-foot vault."

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Deaf couple make baby deaf on purpose
This Is London | Submitted by: Skeletor
Is there anything more obscene than going to great lengths to ensure that your baby is seriously handicapped? That's what a deaf lesbian couple did in order to have a deaf child. Apparently finding a pre-existing deaf child in an orphanage was not good enough, they felt it necessary to birth one themselves.

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Kidney stolen during hospital stay
National Post | Submitted by: Hecubus
"A 10-year-old Turkish boy shot in the chest during a melee at a circumcision party narrowly escaped with his life -- but left a hospital operating room later that day without his right kidney". Guns and circumcision parties just don't mix.

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Penthouse troubles
New York Times | Submitted by: Pseudopod
Poor Bob Guccione. He missed the Internet, made his magazine just a wee bit too hardcore for the mom and pop franchise, and has managed to sideline himself into irrelevance. Luckily for us, behold the Internet: porn money paid for those Cisco routers and created the public demand for this network, lest anyone like a Dworkin forget. God bless pornography.

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