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December 23, 2002

Mattel now marketing sex toys
New York Post | Submitted by: Marla Jones
Mattel is always threatening anyone who tarnishes their Barbie's good name by unauthorized releases of adult themed Barbies. But now they are managing to tarnish it on their very own: "The new, limited-edition doll, officially called "Lingerie Barbie", comes complete with sexy black or pink garters, silk stockings, stiletto heels and other saucy accessories." They claim it is not marketed towards children. Who is the market, lonely forty year old horny men?

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Junk food is good for you. Really.
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Over the past decade, Mars has been pouring money into research in some of the world's leading universities to try to prove that cocoa beans, the source of pure chocolate, contain enough of the right kind of a class of chemicals called flavonoids to help human hearts stay healthy. Yet the chocolate products Mars markets in Britain and elsewhere contain small proportions of cocoa beans and high proportions of the fats and sugars which, in excess, can lead to obesity, an underlying cause of heart disease."

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Roasting chestnuts round the Christmas dog
News Corporation | Submitted by: Nicole
"Nearly a hundred dogs destined for the Christmas pot were rescued in a police bust of a canine meat smuggling gang, officials said today. Police in this northern Philippine mountain resort on Saturday detained seven people and confiscated the live cargo stashed in three vans at a checkpoint, Superintendent Generoso Bonifacio said."

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Big Brother listening to your radio
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: lodri
"New billboards around California will change according to the radio station to which the majority of cars on the road are listening. "For example, if the freeway were packed with country music listeners, the billboards might make a pitch for casinos. If National Public Radio were on, the billboards could change to ads for a high-quality car or a gourmet grocery." The possibilities are endless.

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Drug Czar broke campaigning laws
mpp.org | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"[The complaint] accuses Walters of visiting several Nevada cities on October 10 and 11, 2002, and advocating for the defeat of a marijuana legalization initiative there during press briefings and television appearances... A federal law known as the Hatch Act prohibits federal officials from using their offices to influence elections." Feds are saying this lawsuit is a stunt, but well, the Hatch Act does sort of inconveniently exist. Ooops.

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Paternity fraud
Philadelphia Inquirer | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"In New Jersey, as in most other states, children born during a marriage are the legal responsibility of the husband, even if he isn't the biological father. Now some of these "duped dads," as they call themselves, are waging state-by-state battles to institute 'paternity fraud' laws."

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Indian Monkey-catching is an art
Times of India | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
"'Catching a monkey is an art and it needs a lot of finesse and for that we had to pay the expert Rs 350 per monkey,' the official said. It would be paid on condition that the monkey catcher would tend them and leave them in the forest according to the rules, he said."

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The only band that matters
BBC | Submitted by: Soylent
Joe Strummer dead at fifty: "A spokesman for Strummer, real name John Graham Mellor, said the singer died at home in Broomfield, Somerset, on Sunday. A post mortem examination is to be performed to confirm the cause of death... Strummer's family have asked that instead of floral tributes, money is paid to the Mandela SOS fundraising concert."

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In praise of Nutria
New York Times | Submitted by: A.P.Palled
"Nutria females bring three litters a year, as many as 20 young altogether. They live in suburban canals and waddle from the water hazards at golf courses. They have teeth like chisels. Recently, zoo workers at the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans placed a fat nutria in a sidewalk cage to show to people on their way to see more exotic animals. Passers-by stopped to stare, and one couple stopped to remark at how cute it was. At that point, the nutria urinated, copiously, in their direction."

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Indians now bulk pharmacists
New York Post | Submitted by: Marla
"An upstate Indian group has gone into the mail-order pharmaceutical business, proudly undercutting New York pharmacies by as much as 40 percent on popular brand-name prescription drugs. "If someone is paying $350 a month for prescription drugs and can save $100 a month and they're comfortable with the safety factor, it would be hard for me to say, Don't do it." Of course it's an open question why we're raped by the pharmaceutical companies in the first place.

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Hollywood hooker goes down for 30 days
Mirror | Submitted by: Phatlor
"Hollywood hooker Divine Brown was last night in jail after trying to lure a wealthy Las Vegas gambler into bed. The 36 year old, once arrested over a sex act with Hugh Grant in his car, got a 30-day sentence for soliciting a poker player who had just won UKP 15,000. Security guards at the MGN Grand hotel held the boozy UKP 300 a night prostitute after the man complained she would not take no for an answer."

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Malawi's government colludes with vampires
Wire Services | Submitted by: Phatlor
A bizarre rumor that Malawi's government is colluding with vampires to collect human blood for international aid agencies in exchange for food has led to a rash of vigilante violence... President Bakili Muluzi accused unnamed opposition politicians on Sunday of spreading the vampire stories to try to undermine his government."

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Bishop prefers priests have sex with non-parishioners
Newsday | Submitted by: Nick Jones
"Questioned under oath about the church abuse scandal, New Hampshire's bishop suggested that it is less serious for a priest to have sex with someone from outside the parish than with a parishioner... In depositions this fall, Bishop John B. McCormack said he knew the Rev. Roland Cote had had sex with a teen-age boy but noted that the boy was not a parishioner."

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Woman takes sickle to nosy mother-in-law
Independent Online | Submitted by: xnewswire
When guns are banned, criminals use sickles: "A woman chopped off her mother in law's nose after an altercation in the northern Indian city of Etawah, a news report said Monday. In a fit of rage, Devi chopped off her mother in law's nose with a sickle and injured her husband before escaping from the house."

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Women in hot lesbian study
Washington Times | Submitted by: Rev. Dr.
"Women participating in the $147,000 study at Northwestern University, funded through the federal National Institutes of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), were paid to "watch a series of commercially available film clips, some of which will be sexually explicit, while we monitor your body's sexual arousal," according to a flyer seeking volunteers for the study."

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Pro-national ID card nonsense from MSNBC
MSNBC | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
The submitter writes: This article from MSNBC is so bitheringly stupid, I had to post it. "I donít favor a centralized government identification card either," the author says, but then goes on to propose "a system based on some kind of credible but voluntary nationally accepted identification card. The card need not be a government program. It could be issued by private companies licensed by the federal government, which would strictly regulate the cardís standards and use." And to top it all off, the guy is buddy-buddy with some asshat from the CFR. Private corporations tracking and cataloging citizens with the governmnet's OK? Uhh, yeah. Right.

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Mexican Madonna in jail
Independent Online | Submitted by: xnewswire
She's a wild one: "Gloria Trevi, a Mexican pop diva known for her raunchy sexuality, has been extradited from Brazil to Mexico to face charges of luring starry-eyed girls into a sex cult run by her manager. Trevi's arrival at the beach resort of Cancun ended a three-year odyssey in Brazil, during which she conceived a child while living in an all-female cell block. She vowed to avoid extradition by marrying a Brazilian diplomat."

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This piggy's sunburn leads to lawsuit
South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: Bald in NJ
"A family in Hicksville, Ohio, filed a $100,000 lawsuit against the Defiance County Fair Board after their grand champion barrow was treated for an ear infection at the fair, then stripped of its title after testing positive for the anti-inflammatory drug used to treat the condition. And a newly elected Iowa state senator is fighting state fair officials who disqualified Pickles, his daughter's 1,300-pound grand champion steer."

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WTC dog lives more important than human
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Rescue dogs that worked at Ground Zero are getting better, more expensive and longer-term medical monitoring than the people who toiled with them after September 11. A $500,000 privately funded five-year study by the University of Pennsylvania is providing comprehensive medical workups for 131 dogs who searched the toxic rubble for surviviors."

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Teacher forces class aluminum diet
News Corporation | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A Taiwanese teacher has been demoted for trying to punish her fifth grade class by forcing them to eat tiny pieces of aluminum foil cut from a milk carton, the school's principal said today... Liu cut a carton into 35 pieces and ordered each student to eat one piece, said Wu Lin-hui, an official in the city's Education Department."

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Priest beatdown with Nativity statue
BBC | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"A man has been arrested after a Catholic priest was attacked with a nativity statue at a church in County Down. The priest was not seriously injured in the attack during a morning church service in Bangor on Monday."

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Meet Cultural Santa
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy
"Mall managers hired a local African-American actor, Charles Black, to work weekends and dubbed him "Cultural Santa," leaving the daily duty to what they called "Traditional Santa." When word of the two Santas broke out, irate people contacted Stonecrest's marketing director, Donald Bieler. "He got a number of phone calls from people complaining about it," Black said. "I think it was black people who were offended by the characterization."

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