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November 29, 2002

Man ground into sausage
Centre Daily | Submitted by: JuTravler
"Workers at Ontelaunee Mushroom Farms Inc. discovered the remains of Richard D. Kielbasa, 51, at about 10 a.m. Thursday inside the 25-tall grinder, a machine with rotating blades that refines compost." Most curious of all is Kielbasa is Polish sausage, and this self fulfilling prophecy is now complete.

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Horndog Parliamentarians surf porn in chamber
BBC | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Three members of Spain's governing party have been fined after getting caught looking at pornographic pictures during a debate on domestic violence in Madrid's regional parliament. The men were caught out by journalists in the parliament chamber as they looked at pornographic emails... Female MPs criticised the men for their actions, describing them as 'repugnant and disgusting'".

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Contributing to Satan's Web Page
Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: Mig
"A federal judge has ruled that a school district violated a student's rights to free speech and due process when it suspended him for posting 'intimidation and threats' on Satan's Web page. The Waterford School District should not have suspended the student in August 2001 for contributing to Satan's Web page, U.S. District Judge Patrick Duggan ruled this week." Over the last several years and in various parts of the country, there have been a number of incidents of students facing discipline for writings outside of school that have nothing to do with the school itself. The administration just doesn't approve of what the students have written.

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Dubya not a moron!
Toronto Star | Submitted by: snotnose
According to a New York professor who's been studying patterns in Bush's verbal gaffes: "Bush is not an imbecile. He's not a puppet. I think that Bush is a sociopathic personality. I think he's incapable of empathy. He has an inordinate sense of his own entitlement, and he's a very skilled manipulator. And in all the snickering about his alleged idiocy, this is what a lot of people miss."

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Russia rocket mistaken for meteor shower
Washington Post | Submitted by: Tim
"A ball of fire streaking across the sky early Thursday had people throughout the Northwest flooding radio and television stations with calls reporting a meteor shower." What is left of the Strategic Air Command stated that it was a rocket fired by what is left of the Soviet Union.

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Tiger curiosity costs woman her right hand
China Post | Submitted by: Happy Dave
"A woman's right hand was bitten off by an American circus tiger in Kaohsiung City yesterday afternoon when the curious woman extended her arm to pet the caged animal... She was immediately rushed to the hospital for surgery but doctors were unable to find the missing palm and sew it back on."

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Ranch From Hell, Part 2
Las Vegas Mercury | Submitted by: Fecolithographer
A week after the first report, the on-site newspaper reporter discloses paranormal events documented by scientists that will make your hair stand on end, if something doesn't rip it out of your skull first. [Well, first you have to believe this crap, to get your hair to stand on end. We don't.]

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Make a fool of oneself with latest Microsoft virus
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Known as Winevar, the worm is spreading via e-mail as an attachment that infects computers running Windows. Winevar has a particularly rude tag, displaying the message: Make a fool of oneself: What a foolish thing you've done! If users press the ok button, they could lose all the files on their computer." The real moral is only fools use Microsoft products to read their mail.

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B.C.'s big web-o-weirdness
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
We posted the "B.C. Spiders on Crack" several days ago, and now pictures have surfaced. The first link are amazing photos of the webs, the second link the original story.

Read article... and This article...

Depressed Chinese prefer pesticide for suicide
New York Times | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Drinking pesticide is a particularly lethal form of suicide attempt, since the physical symptoms, like labored breathing, come on quickly and are hard to treat in small rural hospitals. In previous papers, Dr. Phillips, a psychiatrist at the Huilongguan Hospital in Beijing, has estimated that 287,000 Chinese kill themselves each year, making it the fifth-largest cause of death in the country."

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Leet hackers confront government
eWeek | Submitted by: anonymous
"There is also a provision that dictates if any government uses the software as part of a scheme that violates human rights, the government thereby waives its right to sovereign immunity from prosecution in foreign courts." Oh yes, that will stand up in court.

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Smart minefield uses hopping mines
Village Voice | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Utilizing commercial off-the-shelf computer chips and "healing" software, the networked minefield detects rude attempts to clear it, deduces which parts of itself have been removed, and signals its remaining munitions to close the hole using best-fit mathematics. The mines, which can hop, then redistribute themselves, frustrating the enemy and quite probably terrifying him in the process."

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Survey: Scots go bare under kilts
CNN | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Yet another wasted survey: "The naked truth about what Scotsmen wear under their kilts has been revealed: absolutely nothing. Braving the chilly Scottish weather, seven out of 10 men follow tradition and go naked beneath the country's national dress, according to a survey on Friday." [The Rotten Staff had previously conducted its own informal survey, at great risk to life and limb.]

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Top secret unmentionables
BBC | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"Germany's foreign intelligence service plans to sell 'top secret' underwear bearing its trademark eagle logo, in an efforts to raise its public profile. The Federal Intelligence Service (BND) says items bearing its logo are so popular that it will open a shop in Berlin next year. The shop will sell t-shirts, pens, calendars, rulers, stationery, jackets as well as the underwear."

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Swiss experts: Bin Laden tape a fake
Wire Services | Submitted by: soap
"Tests performed on the latest audiotape statement attributed to Osama bin Laden showed the speaker was an impostor, though insufficient data rendered the test inconclusive, a Swiss research institute said Friday."

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