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October 24, 2002

Boy spooge for $25 a shot
Omaha World-Herald | Submitted by: wingnut
"Florea, 35, said he would give the boys pornographic magazines and ask them to masturbate because he needed the semen for research on sperm counts or to find a cure for prostate cancer. The boys, he said, would comply. He told Henthorn he would pay them $20 or $25 for the semen, which they would deposit in small containers that he then stored in the freezer. He said he made videotapes, which he later destroyed, of boys masturbating."

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Snipers Welcome
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Rio
"A sign that reads "Snipers Welcome" in the window of a video store is getting plenty of attention in Gresham, Ore., according to a Local 6 News report. "It bugs me a little. I think it's highly inappropriate for the time being," resident Denise Hester said." The sign was posted for the computer game Counterstrike well before the DC-area incidents.

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Aguilera music video upsets Thais
MSN Entertainment | Submitted by: Angel of Death
"In the video, the scantily clad 21-year-old dances in a boxing ring next to a wall with posters in Thai that read "Thailand's sex tourism" and "Young underage girls". Thai officials have expressed their dismay with the video, which was aired repeatedly by the Nation's cable television station on its news programs reporting the controversy."

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Bare bellies provoke a wobbly
Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: Ross
Last week a group of angry young women stormed the offices of The Newcastle Herald to protest against columnist Jeff Corbett and his opinion of female midriff fashions, "belly blubber" and "horribly deep navels"... "At an age when girls should be striving to be pleasing to the eye, the male eye, these young women were going to serious lengths to expose an acre of wobbling excess. Haven't they looked in the mirror?"... Then he described exposed bellies as a form of terrorism."

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Iran sports biggest paintball field ever
Agence France Presse | Submitted by: Bog
Iran just got paintball. They claim to have "the biggest field in the world". Also "there is no restriction on women, but we preferred to restrict it to men to begin with."

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Illiteracy puts you in the food chain
The Age | Submitted by: Milo-Digital
What's the best thing to do in an exotic location known for deadly water predators? Go swimming, of course: "We got to the shore and shone torches on the water. We saw with the torches two red eyes going away from where the girl had just gone under and we saw the outline of a crocodile swimming along the surface of the water."

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Overheard at the STD clinic
City Pages | Submitted by: Larry
How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish: "Complaints reported by clients of Room 111, a public health clinic in St. Paul that treats people for sexually transmitted diseases. Nurses at the clinic began creating the list two decades ago; it now includes several hundred comments."

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Nike hates Fatties
BBC | Submitted by: Mirai
The message then seemed to be you don't have to be a superstar to wear Nike; now it seems you can't be overweight or unskilled: "A letter sent to Scottish Courage, which makes John Smith's bitter, by Nike's solicitors Dickinson Dees describes Mr Kay as "an overweight and apparently unskilled footballer."

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The artistically profound metaphysics of lettuce
New Jersey Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"An unnamed sculpture consists of lettuce leaves between two pieces of granite, all bound together with copper wire. Unless the lettuce is replaced before it falls away, the smaller block of granite falls away too. What does it mean? "Giovanni Anselmo makes works that refer to fundamental forces of nature such as gravity, tension, magnetism, and energy," explains a brochure on a new exhibit at the Smithsonian Institution's Hirshhorn Museum."

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Please don't sneeze on the Moon
Guardian | Submitted by: Ann Onymous
"In November 1969, Apollo 12 landed just 170 yards from Surveyor 3, a robotic craft that had achieved the first soft lunar landing by an American probe two and a half years before. Parts from the TV camera on Surveyor 3 were brought back by the astronauts, under sterile conditions, and between 50 and 100 living micro-organisms were extracted from the polyurethane foam insulation that covered its interior circuit boards... The astronauts ferried back the contents of a sneeze by a worker assembling Surveyor 3... The microbes did live, in the frigid conditions and vacuum of space, for years after leaving the more hospitable environment in which they originated."

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Lovin, Touchin, Sqeezin.... Your Daughter
Virginian-Pilot | Submitted by: Orkboyz
Nothing says southern family life more than filming the entire family naked and rubbing on each other. Apaprently the authorities in Henrico County, near Richmond, VA do not think so. "It's really repulsing and disgusting," according to Henrico County investogator Edward Kopacki.

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Moroccan surgeons deliver 46-year-old fetus
Independent Online | Submitted by: Alaska Freegold
Another Champion Procrastinator: "Moroccan surgeons have relieved a 75 year old woman of what she thought was a long-standing tumour but turned out to be the remains of a 46-year-old fetus, Moroccan newspapers said on Thursday."

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Google bans controversial sites
ZDnet | Submitted by: Reid Fleming
More than 100 sites have been stricken from Google's search engines for France and Germany (Google.fr and Google.de). The removed sites included several anti-Semitic, pro-Nazi or related to white supremacy. Also banned is Jesus-is-lord.com, a fundamentalist Christian site that is adamantly opposed to abortion. The removed sites continue to appear in listings on the main Google.com site.

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Pubic education
Indianapolis Star | Submitted by: Wacky Hoosier
The Indiana University police are investigating a report that a California company was filming a porn movie in one of the school's dorms. IU didn't get to be the Princeton Review's No. 1 party school for nothing.

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Carvin' out another piece of Martha
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: Bammer
"A company that sells pumpkin carving kits is adding to Martha Stewart's legal woes with a lawsuit accusing her company of patent infringement. Denver-based Pumpkin Masters claimed in a federal lawsuit filed Wednesday that Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc. is marketing and selling... kits that violate its patent."

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Dog SHOOTS Man
Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: cg3
No shit: Hunters put their shotguns down and line up for group photo after a full day of fresh air and firearms. Dog steps on gun. Gun goes off. Bang! Shatters a Minnesota man's ankle. Dang!

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Police baffled by panties
Eureka Times-Standard | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Thefts of women's underwear in the same Union Street apartment complex baffled police for nearly a month until they interviewed a man and found he had 65 pairs of panties. The Arcata Police Department said it received a call Oct. 3 from a woman reporting her underwear had been taken from the complex's laundry room. When police investigated they found other women whose panties had also been stolen."

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My belly was rotten
Halifax Daily News | Submitted by: badmanbelair
"A Guysborough County woman is suing St. Martha’s Regional Hospital in Antigonish and two doctors after a surgical sponge the size of a kitchen towel was left in her belly... She said she would shower, put a large dressing over the wound and cover it with a large pad, and an hour later the fluid would seep through to her clothes."

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The Power of Cunt
The Orion | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Empowerment. It was more than just a word murmured among audience members. It was a feeling that consumed students, faculty and community members who went to hear the motivation behind Inga Muscio's best seller "Cunt: A Declaration of Independence"... Cunt used to be a sacred word, and over the years it has become derogatory, Maroste said. "She is trying to reclaim it, make it empowering."

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Porn star jailed for insider trading
Canadian Press | Submitted by: Gorg
"A former porn star who admitted profiting from insider information she received from a Wall Street executive was sentenced on Wednesday to three months in prison. "I did a lot of wrong things, but I'm an adventurous Aries and a Canadian," Kathryn Gannon, who appeared as Marylin Star in several adult films, said outside federal court in Manhattan. "I'm going to go to jail with my head up high, and I'm going to be the captain of my cell block."

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Trouble for the Church of Geno
Hartford Courant | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The message, in big blue letters in a Main Street repair shop, is unusually direct: "GENO IS GOD." Ken Bernacky put the sign in the window of his store, Stereo Surgeons, seven months ago as a tribute to Geno Auriemma, coach of the University of Connecticut women's basketball team. But members of the church across the street see the sign as blasphemy. Now the town is demanding that Bernacky remove the sign by the close of business today... 'Maybe I do worship someone or something called Geno and he is my God,' Bernacky said."

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Houdini would be proud
Dayton Daily News | Submitted by: Idle Hands
Not really wanting to know where he pulled it from: "A handcuffed man who had been searched for weapons pulled out a gun and fatally shot himself as he sat in a sheriff's cruiser Tuesday."

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Satan flies Air Canada
Calgary Herald | Submitted by: Gorg
"A deranged Calgary man returning from a religious pilgrimage to Bosnia was taken into custody Wednesday at Calgary International Airport after attacking a passenger and calling him Satan on an Air Canada flight from Frankfurt. Eight passengers and flight crew struggled in the aisle for several minutes to subdue the man, believed to be in his mid-30s... They managed to restrain his arms and knees with duct tape and seat-belts."

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