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September 23, 2002

Let my piggies go
ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: La Rue
"An animal rights activist dressed as Jesus was arrested during a protest at a church pig roast in suburban Philadelphia on Saturday, police said... "God designed pigs to play with one another, root around in the soil, forage for food, and enjoy God's glory," wrote Bruce G. Friedrich in a letter that was sent to the Rev. David McMillan, pastor of Hibernia UMC."

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Higher suicide rates under Conservatives
Nature | Submitted by: Meerkat
Researchers in Australia and Britain claim suicide rates soar when conservative governments are in power. "The results are unsurprising, says Cary Cooper, a psychologist at the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology, UK. Poorer social support and higher job insecurity may drive more to suicide under conservative regimes, he says."

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UK exports nuke weapons material to Iran
BBC | Submitted by: Reading
This is just too unbelievable. Does this mean that the US will be bombing Downing Street next? "British officials have approved the export of key components needed to make nuclear weapons to Iran and other countries known to be developing such weapons... Iranian procurement agents have been working in the UK to get sensitive material back to Iran, and that Pakistan has also been successful in procuring material for its nuclear programme from here."

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Witch hunt for Loch Ness Monster
The Scotsman | Submitted by: anonymous
"Yes, I believe it is a spook, a ghost, rather than a solid creature. I will try to raise the creature of Nessie by the power of positive thought," he explained. Mr Carlyon, the High Priest of British White Witches, may have to undo his own work. Earlier this year, he travelled to Loch Ness to bless the creature to protect it from hunters, particularly a Swedish team who set out to trap Nessie in a giant trap."

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Bloody aborted fetuses cause appetite loss
Minnesota Daily | Submitted by: The Great American Pickle
A protest group has put pictures of bloody aborted fetuses on display at Northrop Mall. A nearby grill is not doing a booming business: "It hurts us. People come up to me and say, "You know me. I'm starvin’ like Marvin by the time I get here. But today I don’t have any appetite."

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Union busting, mob-style
Village Voice | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The prized informant also performed another significant public service: capturing on tape a virtual how-to guide for getting rid of legitimate unions, along with detailed descriptions of the high profitability of such exercises. These kinds of things are rarely spoken of openly and, by necessity, are never written down. But the Durso tapes, entered into evidence by the prosecution, provide a rare glimpse into the shady maneuvers that have plagued scores of New York union shops in recent years, as well as a snapshot of the crafty players who practice them."

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Skull and Bones exposed
Today Show | Submitted by: Meerkat
Woman reporter and member of Skull and Bones writes revealing book about the secret society. Skull and Bones is pissed off: "Yale’s super-elite Skull and Bones, a 200-year-old organization whose roster is stocked with some of the country’s most prominent families: Bush, Harriman, Phelps, Rockefeller, Taft, and Whitney... This tiny club has set up networks that have thrust three members into the most powerful political position in the world."

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Kenneth Starr, tattoo defender
Law.com | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"The ancient art of tattoo has evolved from the domain of early Egyptian tribes to the minivans and soccer moms of today," Starr writes. "Art deserves protection as art." Starr states that the South Carolina decision is inexplicable "in a society that protects liquor advertising and pornography." Since the ban infringes on the expression of both the tattooist and the person wearing the tattoo, Supreme Court review is especially needed, Starr asserts."

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More poop art
Tiscali World Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"He painted the words on a special canvas made from, what else, elephant dung. "It's a very easy medium to work with. It sticks easily on the paper and has a nice texture," Boonthueng said in an interview at a gallery that showed his paintings of Thai and American countryside... "I am kind of intrigued by how he uses elephant dung as a medium," said Cheng Zu, a leading Bangkok-based critic."

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Mercy suicide poorly planned
Hindustan Times | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Kumar, posted as personal security officer to Minister of State for Commerce and Industry, leapt to his death before a moving train near Kishan Ganj railway station last Tuesday. Family sources say he had been disturbed about the congenital blindness of his brother-in-law's son Ashish... Though the body was found at 8 pm and the next-of-kin informed within forty minutes, doctors performing autopsy declared Kumar's eyes as unfit for transplant a full 16 hours later."

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Four hour super boner
USA Today | Submitted by: Isaac's Nut Sac
"An increasing number of American youths who use the club drug Ecstasy are mixing it with the anti-impotence drug Viagra, leading drug-abuse specialists to warn about the health risks of a combination that users say fuels all-night dancing and marathon sex."

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Little asteroids can also be bad
Time | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga
We're trying to track the huge asteroids that are planet destroying. But nobody is trying to track the small ones that could also be highly disruptive: "As recently as 1996, an asteroid exploded over Greenland with the equivalent of a 100 kiloton blast. Had either of these intruders from space met their demise over, say, London or New York, hundreds of thousands might have perished."

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Update: sound of silence costs $XXX,XXX
CNN | Submitted by: Son of Benway
The irony of course is that both of the artists think they are being clever: "British composer Mike Batt found himself the subject of a plagiarism action for including the song, 'A One Minute Silence,' on an album for his classical rock band The Planets. He was accused of copying it from a work by the late American composer John Cage, whose 1952 composition '4'33"' was totally silent. On Monday, Batt settled the matter out of court by paying an undisclosed six-figure sum to the John Cage Trust." Mike Batt claims, "Mine is a much better silent piece. I have been able to say in one minute what Cage could only say in four minutes and 33 seconds."

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Fat, lazy Miss Universe sacked
Independent Online | Submitted by: Son of Benway
"Russian Oxana Federova has been stripped of her title because she refused to fulfil the obligations of the title... Federova was sacked in a letter which said: "Your continuing refusal to perform your duties as a Miss Universe titleholder has, and will, cost the Miss Universe Organisation hundreds of thousands of dollars while gravely affecting our reputation."

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Take your dipshit organization to court day
Newsday | Submitted by: f00f
"While Friday has been officially declared, 'Take Your Cat to Work Day,' by the North Shore Animal League of America, a group of professional pet sitters called, 'Pet Sitters International' isn't pussyfooting around. Thursday, PSI filed a federal copyright infringement lawsuit in Manhattan Federal Court charging that North Shore stole their idea."

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Woman falls for Nigeria scam, $2M lost
Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: magpie
"The FBI said Poet, a bookkeeper for a small Berkley law firm, embezzled $2.1 million from the firm's accounts between February and August, after scam organizers persuaded her to wire huge amounts of money to bank accounts in South Africa and Taiwan to expedite the transfer of money to the United States."

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