A Very Nice Story

Being that I lurk around a lot online, I find some weird shit, and that's coming from a guy who's Dark Web name is "xX_big_blond_daddy_Xx" - so you know what I found is going to be... interesting to say the least. I can't recall how I found this story below, I must have been Googling (I now use DuckDuckGo) some weird shit about sex or something like that, anyway, this comes from an article called " 27 People Share Their Partner's Kinkiest Fetish And Whether They Were Down With It Or Not" and if you haven't guessed it yet, it's going to be NSFW - so if you're in public or something like that, you may wish to bookmark this tab for later.

Anyhowz, here is the story that I hope will stay in the back of your mind next time you go to sleep. :-)

My girlfriend (I'm also a girl) is into eating chocolate out of my ass...yep, nothing shit related I always have an enema and clean my ass thoroughly before. I'm quite open to sexual experimentation but this threw me off a little at first since it was so... different I guess? I did end up doing it and we both loved it so we continued. We usually used Kit Kat or Aero since those were her favourite bars but decided to buy Oh Henrys this time and... uh... don't.

We did the usual, she played with my ass a little bit then slid the bars one by one into me, I think we had four full size bars and eight fun size when she decided to start.

So I began to push but nothing came out... then I started bleeding, which happens sometimes but usually not in this quantity it then started to hurt, usually the bars slide out as easy as just taking a shit but this time NOTHING was coming out except for a trickle of chocolate and a lot more blood then there should be.

We both started panicking thinking what the fuck is going on! After ten minutes of hard core pushing and pain she could finally see it... a giant fucking ball of caramel and pointy peanuts. When I say giant I mean fucking huge it was the size of a fucking pineapple. It turns out all the caramel and peanuts in the bars formed this monstrosity from being shoved up and squished, I couldn't even get it out, it was stuck.

My girlfriend had to shove her fingers into my ass and stretch it open to its limits to make this thing even move and by this point my ass was profusely bleeding because of the pointy peanuts sticking out of the ball cutting up my insides.

After half an hour we finally got it out. It was red with blood and I couldn't even fit both hands around it. I had to sit on the toilet for a while afterward because my anus was still leaking blood everywhere. My ass hurt for days after.

tl;dr - Don't shove caramel and peanut bars up your ass, you'll cry.

Written by Clive "James" Python, 2017-11-12.