British Questions

On the 23rd of September I made the horrible misake of deciding to do an AMA (Ask Me Anything) on the UK and British culture. On the AMA page I said that "[You are] free to ask about Brexit, Royalty, how often I masturbate, the government, an average day, you know, boring shit like that!"

So, as I said, here are my answers to all of the questions asked towards me...

A.N. Lucas Asked:
How often do you master bait

OwlMan's Answer:
I guess I put this question on myself, if you really want to know, I do it once every hour and for a bonus answer, I do it over a pornographic polaroid of an ex-girlfriend who died :-(

strata Asked:
1) Your opinion on the Hulme Crescents? As a Briton, do you also find them terribly ugly?
2) I need to know if Wallace & Gromit excessively exaggerates british cosiness or if you really still have flower patterns on your walls and rockets in the basement.
3) How does it feel to live in a nation that's #1 in exporting reality shows?
4) How often do you masturbate?
5a) Is the weather in the UK really as shitty as everybody in the world says?
5b) Is it a little better in Brighton?
5c) Is Brighton a place worth living? I heard Big Beat was invented there. Also, Cyriak lives in Brighton.
6a) On a scale from 1 (not at all) to 10 (very), how patriotic are you?
6b) Would you be more patriotic if every town was replaced with Brighton?
7) How shocked were you when finding out that Rockstar North was not an American game developer and based in Scotland instead?
8) Ever been to other countries? Wales doesn't count.
9) *obligatory average day question*
10) Is it me or is Britpop extremely boring?
11) Your opinion on The Office UK?
12a) What about public surveillance that the UK loves that much? Do you like it?
12b) Is it everywhere as extreme as in London?
13) Would you forgive me if I said I was sorry for these dumb questions?

OwlMan's Answer:
1) Hulme Crescents was demolished in 1994, so before my time. But I'll say that I dislike the majority of buildings made in the 60's, most of them are square and LEGO-like
2) Wallace & Gromit doesn't really exaggerate British cosiness, for example, some people (e.g. myself) still have Flying Wall Ducks on their walls, but not so many people have flower pattern wallpaper today, shame too, I quite like the look of it and yes, everyone has a rocket in their basement
3) No-one I know likes that shit
4) A lot
5a) The weather is quite nice in the UK, it hardly ever rains. Because it's becoming winter, it's getting darker earlier and I like that :-)
5b) I've never been to Brighton, so I don't know
5c) I don't know, just ask Cyriak
6a) I'm really not that patriotic to be fair, from 1 to 10, I'd say 4
6b) YES!
7) I always knew that Rockstar was from the UK, so I wasn't shocked at all
8) Yes, I've been to France, Poland, Germany (great place) and Spain
9) *obligatory average day answer*
10) I like some Britpop bands, like Blur and Oasis, but I don't go out of my way to play any of that type of music
11) I've never seen The Office UK or US, but because I am British I ultimately prefer the UK one
12a) I wish that people would just fuck off and stop watching other people
12b) When I was in London I didn't really notice any CCTV
13) You don't need to be sorry for anything, I put this pain on myself, woe is me

jakeonline Asked:
Why doesn't the UK have those overused sound effects in TV shows like Kitchen Nightmares? Not only that, but what do you think about it?


OwlMan's Answer:
Weird that you should ask that, only last night (the 22nd) I found this post on /r/CasualUK talking about English vs. American Kitchen Nightmares. I think there is such a difference because American's do know what subtlety is. Oh, and what do I think about it? It's kind of funny, to be honest.

jakeonline again Asked:
Do you on the same level of politicalness as the US or do you think they're weird?

OwlMan's Answer:
You can never be too polite!

rocketmix said:
What are some of the things you are jealous about North America?

OwlMan's Answer:
American's have Adult Swim

jopa Asked:
1) do british people like extreme amounts of gossip? did gossip kill a certain princess on august 31st, 1997?
2) What's up with the walls is belfast? I don't even know the difference between Catholic and Protestant.
3) What is your favorite british food?
4) Why are many .uk domain names instead of just .uk?
5) Does the queen have any power over the UK? Or is it now just a symbol/tradition?
6) What do you eat for bwekfast?
7) I will miss you when you're no longer in the European Union. Hopefully, I can still travel with ease to your country! And buy stuff there!
8) Do you like James Bond and Harry Potter?
9) Is there any attention towards the general climate change issue? Is there political consensus? Are there actions?
10) How is the air polution in the UK?
11) Do you like Cricket?
12) Do you like London?
13) What is your favorite geographic place in the UK?
14) Do you like top & fifth gear?
15) Do you like RollerCoaster Tycoon?

OwlMan's Answer:
1) I think we all like gossip, that's the reason why Di died
2) me_ira. The tl;dr is how they follow The Bible
3) Fish and chips all the way!
4) I'm not so sure why this is, I guess people were just lazy and couldn't be bothed to just get .uk, saying that, as of 2013 you can just get .uk websites, over say
5) In some sense, the Queen "does" have power over Parliament, but if she exercises any of her powers (i.e. disagrees to put a bill into law) then something bad will probably happen to her - I think. I would recommend watching "British politics explained" by Jay Foreman to better understand British politics. 6) In an ideal, world I would eat Weetabiks, but I eat Shredies
7) I'll miss you guys, too. Britain will always be in the EU in my heart <3
8) Yeah I like James Bond and Harry Potter! My sister is Harry Potter mad!
9) There isn't really much going on about climate change right now, I guess that some people are upset about fracking going on in some parts of the country. As for political consensus, I suppose that there is the Green Party (left wing party) who care very much for the Earth
10) The air in the UK is quite nice
11) I don't really care for any sports, let alone cricket
12) Yeah I like London, but I think smaller towns are nicer
13) All of Wales! Such a nice place :-)
14) Top Gear is a great show, I understand why James May and Richard Hammond quit, but did the BBC really need to replace them with Chris Fucking Evens?

Written by Clive "James" Python, 2017-09-24.

Thank you to all of the people who asked questions.