Bart Simpson Loves Scientology

Clive "James" Python

The "Church of Scientology" (or as others like to call it "$cientology" or "ScientLOLojyuuichi!!") was founded in December of 1953 in Camden, New Jersey by L. Ron Hubbard (1911-1986), for some reason, people seemed to like paying a shit tone of money to join and have a personality test. What more is that a lot of celebrities seem to be into Scientology, most well known being Tom Cruise.

On an unrelated note; L. Ron Hubbard, wrote science fiction books, was charged with fraud (in absentia, 1978), and has an unserved four yeah prison sentence. Ah, oh also; Lisa McPherson, who's cause of death was multiple stab wounds, may or may not have been "held" in a Church of Scientology facility for 17 days until her death.


Nancy Cartwright is best known for her role as Bart Simpson on the Simpsons, she sadly joined the cult of $cientology in 1989, despite being raised a Roman Catholic. Her first big impact with Scientology was when she went to a barbecue at a friend's house and noticed that all of the people there were Scientologists with "thriving careers".

In 2007 she donated $10,000,000 to the Church. Fucking Hell.

Two years later in 2009 she recorded a phone recording were she plays Bart Simpson, in the audio she promotes the Co$, unsurprisingly, Fox was not so happy about that, luckily for Cartwright Fox took no action.

[In Bart Simpson's voice]
Hay, what's happening man? This is Bart Simpson [laughing] just kidding, don't hang up [now in her normal voice] this is Nancy Cartwright and this is a very special phone call to you.

I'm now oddating on new OT VII [1] and have been asked to speak at The Flag World Tore Event on January 31 in the Grand Ball Room at the Hollywood and Highland Center at 6 PM.

[In Bart Simpson's voice]
It's goin' to be a blast, man! [laughing]

[now in her normal voice]
I'll be there to share my many whims and soul-nos-oddator and to see the golden era film presentation of Flag The Mecca of Technical Perfection.

[In Bart Simpson's voice]
I hope you can make it, man!

[now in her normal voice]
To confirm for the Flag Event please call us back at 888 841 7131, that's 888 841 7131.

[In Bart Simpson's voice]
See you there, man! [laughing]


What's funny is that The Simpsons did do a Co$ parody back in 1998 with the episode "The Joy of Sect" in where the family joins "The Movementarian" - a cult that plans to take a spaceship to the planet Blisstonia. The head of the cult being called The Leader, who was based largely on L. Ron Hubbard, this seemed to piss off Cartwright as apparently she said she would quit the show if they made fun of the Co$ again.

This is of cause not the first time a voice actor has made a fuss over making fun of something, as in 2005 South Part's episode "Trapped in the Closet" seemed to really piss off Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef, who was a Scientologist, according to Isaac Hayes said he would stop voicing Chef if Comedy Central played the episode again. Well, yeah, they did play the full episode which mocked the Church of Scientology and several celebrity followers such as Tom Cruise.

Hayes did quit the show and because Trey Parker and Matt Stone DON'T GIVE ONE SHIT, they killed off Chef in "The Return of Chef". It has been hypothesized by his family that the Church wrote his resignation for him.

Isaac Hayes did say in 2007 that he quit the show because "They didn't pay me enough [...] They weren't that nice." Hayes died in 2008.

But hey, that's not all! Because of how nice the Church of Scientology is, they put the Office of Special Affairs [OSA is responsible for directing legal affairs, public relations, pursuing investigations etc] on Trey Parker and Matt Stone to try and find information that they can "silence" them with. They did not find anything of note, as Trey and Stone seem to be normal guys. Furthermore, Lloyd Kaufman (a friend of the two) said that "Eric Sherman [who is apart of the Church,] did ask me about Trey Parker and Matt Stone"

The biggest kick in my nuts here is that because I live in the UK, Scientology is recognized as a religion! Yes, I know, as of December 2013 the highest court officially recognized it as a religion after a five-year legal battle by Scientologist Louisa Hodkin, who wanted the legal rights to marry at the Church of Scientology chapel in central London. The opinion by five supreme court justices redefined religion in law, rendering the 1970 definition "out of date" in restricting religious worship to "reverence or veneration of God or of a Supreme Being".


[NSFL/NSFW] Lisa McPherson via Rotten Dot Com - Dead link sincd c. 2004- []

Bart Simpson Promoting Scientology [Internet Archive,]

Backup Links for Bart Simpson Promoting Scientology [Internet Archive] [Internet Archive] [Internet Archive]

L. Ron Hubbard via Rotten Dot Com - Dead link since c. September 2017 [Internet Archive,]

Scientology via Rotten Dot Com - Dead link since c. September 2017 [Internet Archive,]

Info and the such about "The Joy of Sect" [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,]

Scientology Spying on Trey Parker and Matt Stone [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,]

Other Crap [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,] [Internet Archive,]

Written by Clive "James" Python, 17/12/16.*/