I'm so tough I eat fucking bulldogs for breakfast, I'm so tough that I sleep on a bed
made out of LEGO, I'm so tough I shave with a blowtorch, I'm so tough I shower in
pigs blood, I'm so tough the Prime Minister of the UK asked me to be his bodyguard,
but I said no because I want to spend more time with my family.
I'm so tough that I went back in time and cut off one of Hitler's balls, that's right IT 
WAS ME YOU UGLY MOTHER FUCKER!

I'm so tough that I put toothpaste on my balls for fun. I eat vinyl records for lunch. I
use lemons as glasses. I use sandpaper as toilet paper. For dinner I eat computer
parts. I shit out gold bricks.

If you mess with me, I probably won't do anything, as I'm a nice guy.